Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8) QUOTES

2 " Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

4 " Contrary to popular belief and hope, people don't usually come running when they hear a scream. That's not how humans work. Humans look at other humans and say, 'Did you hear a scream?' because the first scream might have been you screaming inside your head, or a horse backfiring. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

6 " The Librarian was not familiar with love, which had always struck him as a bit ethereal and soppy, but kindness, on the other hand, was practical. You knew where you were with kindness, especially if you were holding a pie it had just given you. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

8 " The Patrician took a sip of his beer. “I have told this to few people, gentlemen, and I suspect I never will again, but one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I’m sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters, who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature’s wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining on mother and children. And that’s when I first learned about evil. It is built into the nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

10 " The last thing she wanted was to see her friend getting ideas in her head. There was such a lot of room in there for them to bounce around and do damage. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

12 " You know it’s going to be Mary the Maid, or someone like her, and there’s going to be two men and she will end up with the nice one, and there has to be misunderstandings, and they never do anything more than kiss and it’s absolutely guaranteed that, for example, an exciting civil war or an invasion by trolls or even a scene with any cooking in it is not going to happen. The best you can expect is a thunderstorm. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

14 " If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

16 " I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir' Ridcully sighed. 'Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away before you were born. Distinctly remember writing it down in my diary. Would you like another try?' 'Permission to go and find my mother?' "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

18 " Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)

20 " You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick. "

― Terry Pratchett , Unseen Academicals (Discworld, #37; Rincewind #8)