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This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book) QUOTES

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book) QUOTES

1 " With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you meant to me.
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― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

2 " Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called. 
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― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

3 " I just realized my lips are inside out. They should be turned inwards, because I spend most of my time talking to myself. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

4 " She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

5 " Is a picture really worth a thousand words? What thousand words? A thousand words from a lunatic, or a thousand words from Nietzsche? Actually, Nietzsche was a lunatic, but you see my point. What about a thousand words from a rambler vs. 500 words from Mark Twain? He could say the same thing quicker and with more force than almost any other writer. One thousand words from Ginsberg are not even worth one from Wilde. It’s wild to declare the equivalency of any picture with any army of 1,000 words. Words from a writer like Wordsworth make you appreciate what words are worth. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

6 " I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is turned. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

7 " Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

8 " I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the performance (the last day of fall). "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

9 " Love has a shape, but no color. You’re probably wondering, “If it’s transparent, how do you know what shape it is?” Good question. Well, for one thing, I put it together, and for another, I’m currently wearing it like body armor (though to the casual observer, I appear naked). "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

10 " When your action is gone, and all that’s left is motionlessness, I’ll be there, whistling. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

11 " I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

12 " I’d rather fake my own fog, than fake a steamy love scene. Can I interest you in some mist? It’s homemade. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

13 " I once watched several criminals engage in an organized argument, while an audience of supporters cheered them on, but I was so disgusted that I had to turn off the political debate. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

14 " How’s my mom? My mother’s well, like a painting—a Motherwell. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

15 " I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

16 " If I knew what you’d do, exactly when you knew what you’d do, then I’d either be you or I’d be God. And we both know I’m not you. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

17 " When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

18 " Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

19 " You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

20 " If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)