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Yes Please QUOTES

Yes Please QUOTES

161 " person’s tragedy does not make up their entire life. A story carves deep grooves into our brains each time we tell it. But we aren’t one story. We can change our stories. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

162 " the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

163 " I am allowed to have healthy self-esteem. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

164 " During our Texas tour we stopped at a Dallas S&M club and drank warm Diet Cokes as we watched a woman lazily whip a guy. Nothing is more depressing than a tired dominatrix. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

165 " I haven’t lived a full enough life to look back on, but I am too old to get by on being pithy and cute. I know enough now to know I know nothing. I am slugging away every day, just like you. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

166 " On the other hand, men are sometimes wildly inappropriate in the way they share with women. By a show of hands, how many of you have seen a strange penis on the street? On the subway? At a sleepover? I was once walking with my friend Keri in the middle of the day and some guy asked us for the time. When we looked down at our watches, his dick was in his hands. We giggled and screamed and ran away. We were probably ten. I have been really drunk in high school and had a guy try to fool around with me. I have been called a bitch and a lesbian when I rejected a guy in college. I have locked eyes with various subway masturbators. I have been mugged but not raped, pushed and spit on by someone I knew, and forced to pull over in a road-rage incident where a man stuck his head into my car and told me he was going to “cum in my face.” And I count myself very lucky. That is what “very lucky” feels like. Oof. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

167 " I am interested in people who swim in the deep end. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

168 " Teenage bodies should be filled with Vonnegut and meatball subs, not opiates that create glassy-eyed party monsters. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

169 " I am friends with Kathleen Hanna and Adam Horovitz, aka Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys. I can’t believe I am friends with them. I love Kathleen’s music and I am in awe of her social activism and general awesomeness. I asked her to interview me for Interview magazine when I was just a sketch performer whom nobody knew. She said yes because she supports young women. This is the artist who pulled women to the front at her rock shows. She shows up and does the work and is the real deal. Now she is my friend. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

170 " Almost every job I have ever gotten was due to someone knowing my work or seeing me in something else. I was in UCB and Andy Richter suggested I do stuff for Conan. Being on Conan helped me land a part in Deuce Bigalow. My UCB television show and friends helped me get an audition for SNL; my SNL connections resulted in Parks and Recreation. See, years and years of hard work and little bits of progress isn’t nearly as entertaining as imagining me telling a joke in a Boston food court when suddenly Lorne Michaels walks up and says, “I must have you for a little show I do. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

171 " Career is different. Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

172 " You will never climb Career Mountain and get to the top and shout, "I made it!" You will rarely feel done or complete or even successful. Most people I know struggle with that complicated soup of feeling slighted on one hand and like a total fraud on the other. Our ego is a monster...
Ambivalence can help tame the beast. Remember, your career is a bad boyfriend. It likes it when you don't depend on it. It will reward you every time you don't act needy. It will chase you if you act like other things (passion, friendship, family, longevity) are more important to you. If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

173 " You rich motherfucker! Who do you think you are? You’re not better than me. Fuck you and your fucking opinions, you piece of shit. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

174 " Some people give their demon so much room that there is no space in their head or bed for love. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

175 " I don’t remember; I was in a rage haze. Also I was showing off, which can be at the very least embarrassingly transparent and at the very worst "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

176 " The only way we will survive is by being kind. The only way we can get by in this world is through the help we receive from others. No one can do it alone... "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

177 " Apologies have nothing to do with you. They are balloons in the sky. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

178 " Tall women are attracted to my littleness. I have a lot of tall female friends. They like how I am always looking up to them and I like having the option to jump into their pocket if I want to hide. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

179 " When I left SNL, I gave Seth a badge of courage, like Dorothy give to the Cowardly Lion...He kept it in his pocket during "Update" until he didn't need it anymore. Now it sits in a box on his desk at Late Night. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please

180 " I am a tea girl. Coffee smells so good but my stomach doesn’t like it. "

― Amy Poehler , Yes Please