Home > Work > Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout
1 " They thought I was troubled after noticing the cut marks I'd made on my arms and legs, a habit I'd picked up to impress cute girls in school. I'd carve a crush's name into my shoulder, or make slashes on my forearm to win their attention. The pain was intense, but it paidoff- "
― Laura Jane Grace , Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout
2 " They thought I was troubled after noticing the cut marks I'd made on my arms and legs, a habit I'd picked up to impress cute girls in school. I'd carve a crush's name into my shoulder, or make slashes on my forearm to win their attention. The pain was intense, but it paid off. "
3 " Deep deep down inside of me I know I am not a mistake. I do not feel sick. I do not feel like a pervert. I am not gay. I am not a fag. I am not a drag queen. I am not a transexual. I am not transgender. I am just her, a daughter, a sister, someone's girlfriend, just like all the other pretty girls on campus. "
4 " On New Years Eve, I went on one last gender bender before sobering up the next morning as I promised myself. "
5 " I laughed at them with everyone else, the whole time knowing the truth about myself, that I wish I were that brave. Not knowing who you are is a terrible feeling. I've been called a "sell-out" many times in life.... But this experience, that moment - that's what it feels like to truly sell out. "
6 " Where are you supposed to go when you no longer feel welcome in the places you turned to because you didn't feel welcome anywhere else? "
7 " We wanted to be huge, but knew deep down we never would be. That's the punk mentality, always shooting yourself in the foot before even taking the first step. "
8 " I watched Joan tuck my daughter back into bed and hoped that one day Evelyn would remember this moment of a stoned Joan Jett putting her to sleep and asking, “Are you going to dream of doggies and kitties? "
9 " You guys want to get a brostitute?""Prostidudes!"I laughed at them along with everyone else, the whole time knowing the truth about myself, that I wished I were so brave.Not knowing who you are is a terrible feeling.I've been called a "sellout" many times in life for the choices I've made in my musical career. But this experience, that moment--that's what it feels like to truly sell out. "
10 " Initially I had been attracted to punk and anarchism because I saw them as a means to make a positive change, where everyone was equal. While there were some people in the scene who upheld those values, the more punks I dealt with, the more I realized that most of them were privileged white kids taking advantage of this idealism. "
11 " For more than half my life, Against Me! had been the thing that pushed me forward, the thing that held me back, and the thing that almost killed me. But this time, it was the thing that saved me. "
12 " It was the nihilism and self-destructive nature of punk rock that I first latched on to. Live fast, die young. "
13 " For all I know, we died in that accident and everything since has been just a dream. "
14 " Girl, I’m sorry, but I’m leaving, we’re both at fault, we’re both to blame. And it wasn’t the other men ’cause there were other women. This just isn’t love, it’s just the remorse of a loss of a feeling. Even if I stayed it just wouldn’t be the same. "
15 " Of course, what no one tells you when you’re young and arrogant is that you eventually grow up to become the thing you hate. "
16 " Pope’s family had arranged for a preacher to give a graveside sermon. Pope would have hated it. The preacher didn’t know Pope and his speculation about the type of person Pope was came off as insulting. We all watched Pope’s coffin as it was lowered into the ground. Flowers, cigarettes, and joints were all thrown on top of it before a backhoe and four gravediggers covered him up forever. It was then that I understood the finality of death, as all of Pope’s friends walked their separate directions away from the freshly buried grave. I wondered if Pope was crying out for everyone not to leave, please stay, please stay. Please, stay. "
17 " An ardent anarchist, I believed everyone’s efforts to be considered equally. "
18 " Where are you supposed to go when you no longer feel welcome in the places you turned to because you didn’t feel welcome anywhere else? "
19 " Show spaces were supposed to be open to everyone regardless of age, race, class, sex, or sexual preference, but for the most part it was just white kids oblivious to the privilege they came from. It also became clear to me that while these were the politics heralded by the scene, often they were not actually practiced. "
20 " I don’t want to see the world that way anymore, I don’t want to feel that weak and insecure. As if you were my fucking pimp, as if I was your fucking whore. Black me out. "