Home > Work > F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems QUOTES

F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems QUOTES

1 " If you can tolerate the humiliation and helplessness and admit that you're an out-of-control fuckup, it frees you from expectations that you can't possibly meet, promises you can't keep, and appearances you can't maintain; it liberates you from the ensuring cycle of endless failure. "

― Michael Bennett , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

2 " Believing in your standards for a square deal, even when there's no way to get it, is what allows you to create boundaries and take independent action. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

3 " ...accept what you've already learned: that your disability will come and go and you'll never control it completely. Educate yourself about it, become an expert manager, and use treatment whenever you think it's necessary and without regard to your yearnings to be normal. Fight the shame that comes with being ill by sharing as much with others as you think is appropriate according to your own standards of privacy, not the culture's stigma. "

― Sarah Bennett, , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

4 " Acceptance of limits, not limitless self-improvement, is the key to moving forward and dealing effectively with any and all crap that life can throw your way. "

― Michael Bennett , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

5 " You should never hold yourself accountable for results you don’t control, but always for the strength of trying. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

6 " That’s why your primary goal is not to get rid of negative feelings and feel better, but to block them from controlling your behavior while you continue to act like a decent person. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

7 " Stop asking why you’ve got weaknesses and start preventing them from turning you into a jerk. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

8 " Put doing good over feeling good, and you will get good results. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

9 " In any case, just because you feel out of control doesn’t mean you should have been able to prevent it. Instead of searching for mistakes or weaknesses, judge yourself realistically, in terms of what a good person can actually do in a bad situation. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

10 " A good person is not someone who is trying to be happy, because that’s not possible, but someone who is trying to do right. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

11 " If you’re willing to accept what you can’t change, we have many positive suggestions for improving the way you manage the shit on your plate—beginning with not wasting time repeating what hasn’t been working. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

12 " Before allowing yourself to take responsibility for other people’s painful feelings, ask yourself whether there’s something you can do that will actually help, that you can afford to do (given your other commitments), and that isn’t better done by someone else (including the person you’re trying to help). "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

13 " Accept that there are some losses that never stop hurting, so you can stop delving into them, get used to living with a heavy heart, and try to build a better life. Accept "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

14 " that there’s no such thing as “fair,” feelings are stupid, life is hard . . . and you’re going to be relatively okay, even if you won’t be happy, "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

15 " Your Script Here’s what to tell someone or yourself while you’re feeling hopelessly fucked-up. Dear [Me/Family Member/Fuckup I Can’t Help But Care About], I know you feel like [the royal “we”/you/our fuckup son] is on the verge of [insert mistake or potential tragic experience], and life feels like an unholy disaster. The truth is, however, that life often sucks and sometimes I can’t expect to feel other than [insert classier, more dire synonym for “shitty”], especially given issues in the past regarding [bad luck/anxiety/your many addictions and world-record unemployment]. So don’t take it personally and do take credit for whatever good things you were doing, even if they were totally ineffective at fending off this mess. Take pride in doing a good job, regardless of bad [luck/genes/associates/mental pain] and don’t stop. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

16 " Working hard at managing love doesn’t mean becoming supremely unselfish and generous in a totally unconditional, nonjudgmental way; it means becoming very judgmental about what you can expect from people and yourself and putting conditions on whom you allow yourself to get close to, love be damned. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

17 " It’s not clear when people started equating solving emotional issues with retracing your steps in order to find your car keys, but if you retrace your steps to uncover the ultimate source of your problems, you won’t usually find it. On the plus side, you might find your sunglasses. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

18 " turn your bullshit wish into a goal that can actually be achieved. Accept whatever is obviously impossible about your goals. Accept that depression is often chronic and incurable, so you can stop blaming yourself for not controlling it. Stop "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

19 " Life never guarantees you a square deal, but you can be a good, realistic dealer in an unfairly chaotic marketplace if you assume that no one necessarily sees things the way you do, no matter how obvious the truth appears, and that getting what you deserve is a lucky event, not a right. You "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems

20 " you need to accept that life is hard and your frustrated efforts are a valuable guide to identifying what you can’t change. "

― , F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems