Home > Work > The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success QUOTES

The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success QUOTES

1 " I don't think we set and achieve goals in an effort to become happy. We do it because we are happy and want to expand our happiness "

― Dan Sullivan, , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

2 " If you focus on what you lack, you lose what you have. If you focus on what you have, you gain what you lack.”6 "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

3 " Seth Godin said: “The rule is simple: the person who fails the most will win. If I fail more than you do, I will win. Because in order to keep failing, you’ve got to be good enough to keep playing.”12,13 "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

4 " Harmonious passion is related to having high levels of grit, whereas obsessive passion is not.23 If you’re obsessively passionate, you’re thinking short-term. You’re trying to force things to go your way. But you don’t truly want whatever it is you’re seeking. You just think you need it because you’re unresolved internally. Whether you get what you want or not, sooner or later you’ll shift that unhealthy need onto something else—the hedonic treadmill will continue. Similar to harmonious passion, intrinsic motivation is also related to having high levels of grit, whereas extrinsic motivation is not.24 "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

5 " The way to measure your progress is backward against where you started, not against your ideal.” —Dan Sullivan "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

6 " In psychology, inattentional blindness occurs when you are so fixated on one thing that you fail to see everything else going on around you.7 It’s easy to miss the GAINS happening throughout our lives or businesses because we may have tunnel vision on the problem in front of us. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

7 " When you’re in the GAIN, you transform your experiences. In the GAP, you compare your experiences to other people’s, and feel worse off as a result. You don’t take ownership of your experiences, but instead, you distance yourself emotionally from them, which ends up creating debilitating trauma of varying degrees. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

8 " Billions of dollars are spent every day to manipulate and change your thoughts, desires, and behaviors. The reference points for your own success are being created for you, not by you. If you’re not paying for the product, then your behavior change is the product. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

9 " Don’t let your past be forgotten. Always measure backward. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

10 " When your happiness is tied to something in the future, then your present is diminished. You don’t feel happy, confident, or successful. But maybe in the future you will be, or so the logic goes. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

11 " An experience only becomes valuable and useful once you’ve transformed it into a GAIN. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

12 " research shows that imagining the absence of a positive event in your life has a more powerful effect on you than simply looking back on that positive event. Likewise, imagining the absence of an important person in your life can be more powerful than simply appreciating the fact that they are in your life. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

13 " Your happiness as a person is dependent on what you measure yourself against. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

14 " Thankfully, in the real world we don’t literally lose the thing we go into the GAP about. But we do damage it. We damage our own experience. And when it comes to other people, we damage them as well. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

15 " We go into the GAP about ourselves, undervaluing and underappreciating ourselves. We go into the GAP about other people, turning them into a problem or an enemy. We go into the GAP about far too many things, and perhaps it’s a good time to stop complaining. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

16 " Research in psychology shows that confidence is not what creates success, but rather, prior success is actually what creates confidence. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

17 " Why does all of this matter, though? It matters because without being conscious and intentional, you can easily “forget” or lose sight of your former GAINS. You can forget what you previously struggled with and overcame. You can take for granted how far you’ve come, ignore your progress, and miss out on the confidence of remembering where you were. This is why it is incredibly powerful and important to keep journals, records, or “annual reviews.” Like Jill, you can look back and be reminded of the easily forgotten past. You can be reminded that the “normal life” you’re now living may be the dreams—or even beyond the dreams—of your former self. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

18 " research shows that imagining the absence of a positive event in your life has a more powerful effect on you than simply looking back on that positive event. Likewise, imagining the absence of an important person in your life can be more powerful than simply appreciating the fact that they are in your life. One study found that mentally subtracting a material possession you’ve previously enjoyed increases your happiness with that item more than simply thinking back on when you purchased "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

19 " Being psychologically flexible means you can move forward through uncertainty. It means you control the meaning of your experiences. When you’re in the GAIN, you become more psychologically flexible. You take every experience life gives you—difficult or easy, scary or exciting, challenging or accelerating—and you become better as a result. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

20 " A fundamental aspect of flexibility is what psychologists call pathways thinking, and it’s the ability to find or create many workable paths to a given outcome.10 The more flexible you are as a person, the more willing you’ll be to try multiple approaches to getting where you want to go. The more rigid you are, the more dogmatically you’ll try forcing the same approach even when it proves unsuccessful. "

― , The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success