Home > Work > The End of All Things (Old Man's War, #6)
1 " Captain, the problem is not that I’m paranoid. The problem is that the universe keeps justifying my paranoia. "
― John Scalzi , The End of All Things (Old Man's War, #6)
2 " I have always found that there’s an inverse relationship between the number of people in a room and the amount of useful work that can be done. "
3 " There’s a saying: “May you live in interesting times.” To begin, it’s a curse. “Interesting” in this case uniformly means “Oh god, death is raining down upon us and we shall all perish wailing and possibly on fire. "
4 " The Fflict recognized five genders: male, female, zhial, yal, and neuter. Aul was zhial, and ze liked zis pronouns accurately stated. I would too, in zis position. "
5 " I had, bluntly, the worst fucking headache I had ever had in my life. I’m trying to think of the best way to describe it. Try this. Imagine a migraine, on top of a hangover, while sitting in a kindergarten of thirty screaming children, who are all taking turns stabbing you in the eye with an ice pick. "
6 " Again I ask permission to be blunt.” “Ambassador Abumwe, at this point I cannot imagine you being otherwise. "
7 " It’s not a bad idea.” “It’s a terrible idea,” Oi said. “It just has the advantage of being better than the other option. "
8 " [I]t was designed to operate with minimal assistance from humans, who were without exception the moving part most likely to fail. "
9 " He was determined to be the most touristy tourist who had ever touristed, "
10 " I’ve met a lot of people in the diplomatic corps who were in love with the sound of their own voice, but this guy. He and his voice should just get a room. "
11 " And when I say “exploded” I mean “interacted catastrophically with the topography of space/time in ways we’re not entirely able to explain,” but “explode” gets the gist of it, particularly with regard to what would happen to a human caught in it. "
12 " Danielle Lowen: How are you? I am fine. The group that destroyed Earth Station and made it look like the Colonial Union did it is now planning to nuke the surface of your planet until it glows, and frame the Conclave for it. Hope you are well. Looking forward to rescuing you in space again soon. Your friend, Harry Wilson. "
13 " We buy time where we may.” “You bought yourself time,” Oi agreed. “I don’t think it’s of very good quality. "
14 " But I have always found that there’s an inverse relationship between the number of people in a room and the amount of useful work that can be done. "
15 " I thought this was a matter of some urgency, Harry.” “It is,” I said. “But I fell from the sky today. I could use a couple of waffles. "
16 " What was your job back on Earth? I’ve always been curious. I taught eighth-grade math in Tallahassee. Huh, I said. That’s not what I expected. Are you kidding? Powell said back. You try teaching algebra to a bunch of little shitheads for thirty-eight years straight. The way I figure it I’ve got about another decade before my rage from that gets entirely burned up. "
17 " And so we learn how simple it is to change the history of the universe,” Sorvalh said. “All you need is for every other thing to have gone so horribly wrong "
18 " Having Monday be Pizza Day subverts the natural order of things. "
19 " Listen. I don’t care if you ever think about the fact that you can always taste your mouth. You are always tasting your mouth. It’s where you keep your tongue. Your tongue doesn’t have an off switch. You are tasting your mouth right now, and now that I’ve brought it to your attention, you’re probably realizing that you should probably brush or chew some gum or something. Because your mouth, by default, is a kind of a little off, tastewise. "
20 " Imagine a migraine, on top of a hangover, while sitting in a kindergarten of thirty screaming children, who are all taking turns stabbing you in the eye with an ice pick. "
