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Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes QUOTES

Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes QUOTES

1 " The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

2 " It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

3 " Moses trudges down from Mt. Sinai, tablets in hand, and
announces to the assembled multitudes: “I’ve got good news and
I’ve got bad news. The good news is I got Him down to ten. The
bad news is ‘adultery’ is still in. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

4 " Some have argued that because the universe is like a clock, there must be a Clockmaker. As the eighteenth-century British empiricist David Hume pointed out, this is a slippery argument, because there is nothing that is really perfectly analogous to the universe as a whole, unless it's another universe, so we shouldn't try to pass off anything that is just a part of this universe. Why a clock anyhow? Hume asks. Why not say the universe is analogous to a kangaroo? After all, both are organically interconnected systems. But the kangaroo analogy would lead to a very different conclusion about the origin of the universe: namely, that it was born of another universe after that universe had sex with a third universe. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

5 " Sorting out what's good and bad is the province of ethics. It is also what keeps priests, pundits, and parents busy. Unfortunately, what keeps children and philosophers busy is asking the priests, pundits and parents, "Why? "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

6 " The optimist says, "The glass is half full."
The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
The rationalist says, "This glass is twice as big as it needs to be."

That makes it clear as glass. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

7 " A seeker has heard that the wisest guru in all of India lives atop India’s highest mountain. So the seeker treks over hill and Delhi until he reaches the fabled mountain. It’s incredibly steep, and more than once he slips and falls. By the time he reaches the top, he is full of cuts and bruises, but there is the guru, sitting cross-legged in front of his cave. "O, wise guru,” the seeker says, “I have come to you to ask what the secret of life is.” “Ah, yes, the secret of life,” the guru says. “The secret of life is a teacup.” “A teacup? I came all the way up here to find the meaning of life, and you tell me it’s a teacup!” The guru shrugs. “So maybe it isn’t a teacup. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

8 " So how do we know anything at all, if in fact we do know anything at all? "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

9 " A man stumbles into a deep well and plummets a hundred feet before grasping a spindly root, stopping his fall. His grip grows weaker and weaker, and in his desperation he cries out, “Is there anybody up there?” He looks up, and all he can see is a circle of sky. Suddenly, the clouds part and a beam of bright light shines down on him. A deep voice thunders, "I, the Lord, am here. Let go of the root, and I will save you.” The man thinks for a moment and then yells, "Is there anybody else up there? "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

10 " Aristotle drew a distinction between essential and accidental properties. The way he put it is that essential properties are those without which a thing wouldn’t be what it is, and accidental properties are those that determine how a thing is, but not what it is. For example, Aristotle thought that rationality was essential to being a human being and, since Socrates was a human being, Socrates’s rationality was essential to his being Socrates. Without the property of rationality, Socrates simply wouldn’t be Socrates. He wouldn’t even be a human being, so how could he be Socrates? On the other hand, Aristotle thought that Socrates’s property of being snub-nosed was merely accidental; snub-nosed was part of how Socrates was, but it wasn’t essential to what or who he was. To put it another way, take away Socrates’s rationality, and he’s no longer Socrates, but give him plastic surgery, and he’s Socrates with a nose job. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

11 " The optimist says, "The glass is half full.” The pessimist says, “The glass is half empty.” The rationalist says, “This glass is twice as big as it needs to be.” That makes it clear as glass. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

12 " The optimist says, "The glass is half full.” The pessimist says, “The glass is half empty.” The rationalist says, “This glass is twice as big as it needs to be. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

13 " A man wrote a letter to the IRS saying, "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $150. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

14 " Đối với cả Arthur Schopenhauer và Đức Phật, cuộc sống là một vòng quay bất tận của thất vọng và buồn chán. Khi ta không có thứ ta muốn, ta thất vọng. Khi có thứ ta muốn rồi, ta buồn chán. Và đối với cả Arthur lẫn Thích Ca, thất vọng tồi tệ nhất chính là khi chỉ thiếu một bước nữa là đến được sự giải thoát. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

15 " 1754: Immanuel Kant hat eine Begegnung mit dem Ding an sich und sagt, er könne nicht darüber sprechen. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

16 " In the seventeenth century, René Descartes opted for reason over a divine source of knowledge. This came to be known as putting Descartes before the source. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

17 " his bed was written by an invisible deity "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

18 " Oxford philosopher John Austin pointed out that saying, “I promise,” is a whole different linguistic deal "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes

19 " One use of the argument from analogy is found in
response to the question of what or who created the universe.
Some have argued that because the universe is like
a clock, there must be a Clockmaker. As the eighteenthcentury
British empiricist David Hume pointed out, this is
a slippery argument, because there is nothing that is really
perfectly analogous to the universe as a whole, unless it’s another
universe, so we shouldn’t try to pass off anything that
is just a part of this universe. Why a clock anyhow? Hume
asks. Why not say the universe is analogous to a kangaroo?
After all, both are organically interconnected systems. But
the kangaroo analogy would lead to a very different conclusion
about the origin of the universe: namely, that it was
born of another universe after that universe had sex with a
third universe. "

― Thomas Cathcart , Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes