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1 " you mean you would've never let me dribble your basketballs "
― Sophie Gonzales , Only Mostly Devastated
2 " But they wouldn't, they wouldn't have done any of that, because in stories guys fight. They fight for the person they care about, and they don't give up, ever.In real life, though, sometimes you beg for them to care, and they just don't. And then they go quiet.And they let you walk away without much of a fight at all. "
3 " Apathy is incompatible with hate. Love works okay. "
4 " And life was too short to play chicken with something as important as the person you loved. "
5 " That’s the beautiful thing about the universe. It puts you through trials, but it never gives you anything you can’t handle. We grow from these things. "
6 " Maybe our Happily Ever After hadn't worked on the first shot. And maybe Happily Ever Afters weren't a singular event. Maybe they were something you had to work at, and build, and never give up on, as long as they were something you still wanted. "
7 " But if they keep accidentally ripping your heart out over and over again, doesn't mean they're terrible people, but it probably means you're better off getting to a distance where they can't keep doing that. Accidentally or not. "
8 " A long pause. Long pauses are never good. One day, I would write a thesis on the history of long pauses, and the hurt feelings that followed them 200 percent of the time. This was just like the time in tenth grade, when I shaved one side of my head and asked Ryan how it looked at school the next day. Except this long pause was lasting longer, and oh God, this was going to really stab, wasn’t it? Fuck long pauses. Motion to ban them from social interactions, please. "
9 " She had the air of someone who’d won a battle with the patriarchy. "
10 " Well, when someone you love needs you, you step up, right? "
11 " I fled. I fled like a bigot dodging the concept of equality. "
12 " It'll get easier. That's the beautiful thing about the universe. It puts you through trials, but it never gives you anything you can't handle. We grow from these things. "
13 " Alone in here, I could be any of that. I could feel every negative, terrible, aching feeling at once, and I didn't have to be self-conscious about it or try to put on a mask so someone else didn't feel dragged down. "
14 " Are you kids going to be out for a while?" Mr. Tavares asked. Out as in, out of the closet, or out as in, our celebrating? "Yeah-- the rest of the team is partying at Reese's house. I think Matt and Darnell want to swing by," said Will. Okay, yup, out celebrating. Glad I didn't reply with "I'm planning on being out permanently," then. "
15 " And maybe Happily Ever Afters weren’t a singular event. Maybe they were something you had to work at, and build, and never give up on, as long as they were something you still wanted. "
16 " Mama, Ollie taught me how to play ‘Let It Go’ on guitar,” Crista piped up in a muffled voice as she pulled her pajama shirt over her head. Aunt Linda shot me a look that was half sheer terror, half witch hunt. The face of someone at peak Frozen saturation. I didn’t, I swear, I mouthed, making chopping motions by my neck. "
17 " Yeah, fine as a man who’s been gently corrected on the internet, "
18 " Like … most of the school has figured out you’re gay.” “Oh. Interesting. I haven’t met most of the school, so don’t know how they managed that.” “Yeah, but…” I knew what he was getting at. It was fine. Whatever. It’s not like it was a state secret or anything. And hey, if people guessed, it saved me having to have a discussion about my sexual preferences with people who didn’t even know if I preferred ham or peanut butter on my sandwiches. For reference, the answer was, “both, simultaneously. "
19 " Mom. This didn’t happen to teach us all a lesson and help us to grow.” She darkened. “Ollie, that’s not what I meant and you know it.” “This isn’t beautiful. It’s ugly, and pointless. "
20 " I was fairly sure Lara buying me a present was listed as an end of times sign in the Bible, between false prophets and stars falling from the sky. Which was terrible news for humanity, but it did brighten my night up a little. “You did? Oh … I didn’t get you anything.” “We’re playing swapsies with oppressive gender roles tonight. That’s the theme of this stupid dance, right?” she asked. “Anyway. Here. "