Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me QUOTES

1 " I'm not sure why anyone on the face of the planet would want to use a bow and arrow. I mean, it seems like a fairly limited field of expertise and usefulness. Unless your name is Katniss. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

2 " A lot of people unsee a lot of things, every day. Think about it. Every day you go around, stepping over some guy out on the street, outside the Starbucks, or at the park, or on the sidewalk, you just unsee it. Or those cops pulling over that black guy or brown guy or that anything-but-white guy. You just kind of unsee it, right?
And then, one day, you just kind of forget you're even unseeing anything at all. It's just subconscious. It's just noise. It's just normal.
But then, sometimes, a person comes along or a thing comes along, and it jars you. It snaps you out of it. And all of a sudden you can see again.
That's when you have to make the choice.
Am I gonna go back? Or am I gonna keep seeing that?
Because if I keep seeing that, that thing right in front of me that is so unjust, eventually I might have to do something about it. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

3 " Katerina, stop! Or I'll shoot!"
"Then fucking shoot!"
"Okay, I'm gonna shoot you in the ankle, okay? They say that's the safest place."
"Don't shoot me, just go home."
"I can't! Okay, I'm gonna shoot you now, and then when I do, just stay down, okay?"
"Why are you so weird?! If you are going to shot, then fucking shoot!"
"O-kay! Are you ready?!"
BANG.
She goes down.
I run up to her, bleeding out the side of her calf.
"Oh, I meant to hit a little lower, actually."
She gets up. I think she actually believes she's going to catch up with these guys. Gunshot and all.
I kick her in the chest.
"This is interesting friendship. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

4 " There were babies, and toddlers, and five-year-old boys in Batman shirts. There was even a little girl dressed as Elsa. For no reason. It's not Halloween. But go ahead, cutie pie, you dress up as Elsa all you want. You do you. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

5 " He hangs up. "Told her it was a butt dial. She was very understanding."
I blink. "Let me get this straight. You are telling me that the government wants to recruit me for some black ops-type, probably illegal mission and you just said the word butt to the actual president of the United states?"
"I am. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

6 " One hundred and thirteen seconds."
"I am in extreme dislike ..."
Gasp.
"... of this process at the present moment."
Gasp.
"And also, of you ..."
Gasp.
"... in a dispassionate sort of way."
Madden raises an eyebrow.
"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."
"Methinks you just like annoying me in my bathing suit. Admit it, you couldn't do this."
"Wanna bet? "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

7 " So, dearest Madden, on a scale of one to ten ... am I fired?"
"What, for completely disobeying orders and bringing public enemy number one back to the center of the liberal universe so we would have to actually pardon him?"
"Something like that."
"You know, this may surprise you, but the president of the United States, your commander in chief, wanted me to express her gratitude. She said she admires your moxie."
"Wow. The president of the United States admires my moxie. Are you jealous?"
"Maybe. It's possible. No one has ever said anything about my moxie."
I slurp through my smirk. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

8 " When I get back to my dorm room, there it is, staring at me from above my bed. The Vladimir Putin calendar. Ha! I guess Katerina got a copy of it for me after my drunken rant at the secret supper club about how I had to ironically have one.
This is a girl after my own heart.
You have to see this calendar.
July: Vladimir Putin fly-fishing topless. March: Vladimir Putin smelling a flower. November: Vladimir Putin holding a puppy. I'm not kidding. Holding a puppy!
I laugh to myself. Katerina sure has my number. Maybe she will be my BFF even after I go back to the States. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

9 " Don't worry. We do not have to talk about. We are Russian. We do not talk about feelings all the time and no one has shrink."
"I think you all have a shrink. And I think the shrink's name is vodka."
This gets a smile out of both of them. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

10 " I am an excellent driver.
In my mind. When nobody's watching. I could drive circles around you. And even East Los Viva.
However, there is the small issue that in the human realm, when I am driving an actual vehicle, which is rare, and there is someone in the passenger seat, which is even rarer - I have a tendency to get nervous. And a bit neurotic. Okay, fine, let's just face it. I am a terrible driver. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

11 " Madden sizes me up.
"Did you even ever get Christmas presents ...?"
"Yes. And Hanukkkah presents. And Kwanzaa. Three Kings Day. Also, Saint Lucia Day and Ramadan. It's important not to play favorites. You know ... you never know who could actually be running this thing ... probably important not to put all your eggs in one basket -"
"Stop. Stop talking. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

12 " She turns to Madden.
"Please don't make me get in the car with her. I have dreams."
Madden smiles. I wouldn't think he would have such a familiar repartee with someone with a purple mohawk.
"I think Viva has a point; there's really no reason for me to drive."
Viva and I both turn to Madden, each of us hoping he will call it a day.
"Nice try, Paige. But you never know. Perhaps you'll learn something."
"And perhaps YOU'LL learn something."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, actually. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

13 " Okay, I have a follow-up question."
Madden exhales. "Yes."
"Is this car worth a lot in your human money?"
"Paige, there's nothing around. Okay? You're going to be fine. Just get in the car, turn on the ignition, and do the obstacle course."
"In that order?"
"Yes."

...

A 2016 Dodge Viper SRT costs exactly $87,895. I know, because I just crashed one. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

14 " And, finally, there is Haverford. Very much more involved. There's a blue bus that runs between the two schools and we can live there, they can live here, etc. Except no one really does this because those are all guys who listen to Phish, wear flannel, and play lacrosse, and we are all a bunch of black-clad lesbos who chant, "Death to the Patriarchy!" and spell woman with a y. Womyn. Get it? Because the idea is you don't need a man to spell woman. Don't laugh.
I don't really care about the spelling thing, but I have no desire to listen to Phish. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

15 " But not in life. In life it's just a shrug and I did this thing and then that thing happened, and then this happened. And you never know what the big thing is until you look back and think, OMG, that was it. How did I not know it?

It's maddening in a way. How random it is. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

16 " There's no marker on the entrance to this entire complex, or on many of the buildings, but if there was I would call this one "Super Secret Spy Swimming Complex", or SSSSC, for short. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

17 " Second, I will venture to Café Treplev, which is a hidden, wooden, book-lined restaurant that looks more like someone's personal library I would like to one day have in my imaginary mansion on the cliff with Gael. Oh, you don't have an imaginary mansion on the cliff? Fine. You can come over to mine. But don't steal the soaps. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

18 " Well, I'm sorry. Again. For like the millionth time. If there's anything I can do ... I'd offer to pay for your dry cleaning, but you're wearing a T-shirt, and that's just, like weird - I mean, who dry-cleans their T-shirts? "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me

19 " That was my mom.
It was like all the terrible things in the world manifested in her into a rebellion against darkness. A defiant exuberance... There is no way on earth, no God so cruel, no fate so callous, that it would let this particular spirit perish. "

― Andrea Portes , Liberty: The Spy Who (Kind of) Liked Me