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" On Christmas Day a man in Philadelphia went to the movies and found himself seated near a couple of chatterboxes, a father and son, according to the report. The two were asked several times to be quiet, and when they continued their conversation, the man who had shushed them pulled out a gun and shot the father in the arm. Reading this, I thought, Well, finally. Everyone knows that calling the manager doesn’t do any good, and why have liberal gun laws if we’re not going to take advantage of them? If someone won’t shut up during a movie, they should be shot, and as often as possible. My only amendment would be that the shooter use a silencer; that way the rest of us won’t be distracted. "
― David Sedaris , A Carnival of Snackery: Diaries 2003-2020