The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1) QUOTES

1 " Coach spun toward us with a nimble step he should have lost years ago. “Sprint ladders, ladies! I want Grandma Taps in increments of ten and then do that shit backward until you hit fifty!” Noah groaned and Watkins smile sharpened into something that confirmed my suspicions.
He was made of evil.
“And now you all can thank Trindale for making this Ladder Day! Right and left Twizzlers, front, back, and sideways! Hopsquats, Jack Dogs, Skip to My Lous, and…Twinkies.”
“Dear God,” Adam whispered. “Not the Twinkies.”
Dylan squirmed in his pads. “Sir, these names are— Well, half of us can’t remember how to do them. Why can’t we call them Ickey and Heisman shuffles, like, other coaches do?”
There was a sound in the back of Watkins’ throat that suggested he was making way in his gut for a piece of Dylan. “Because you shit stains haven’t earned the right to utter the names of those gods! "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

2 " Good. How about you find the balls that are attached to your dicks, draw them out of your abdominal cavity and show me.”
“You want to see our testicles, Coach?” Mike asked, making his way backward down his ladder.
“Maybe when I find my magnifying glass, Mr. Brown! I won’t be able to tell the difference between what you call testicles and raisins.”
Mike gasped for air. “My balls are sweeter, sir!”
Lids narrowed over his black marbles. “Glad to know how flexible you are, Mr. Brown. That’ll come in handy for the rest of my practice.” Watkins added with a growl, “If you are still alive. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

3 " From the front, Coach Zawasky booted up his computer. “We’re missing Ryan and Hale.”
That elicited a grunt. “I’ll bet those poor sons of bitches won’t miss my divine wisdom ever again after the Wolverine Special Drill I have in store for them.”
“Shit.” Matt swallowed and shrunk into his chair.
“Dare I ask?” I whispered.
Cam’s head tilted toward mine, pure fear reflecting in his eyes. “Pray you never know.”
Matt slid the playbook out of his messenger bag and I could have sworn his hand trembled. “Watkins used to be a drill instructor for the Marines and he really misses his old job—”
“I sure as fuck don’t miss it when you pissants screw up. Because you will. Eventually.” Beady eyes glinted at me from across the room. I could have sworn that was a gleam of hope aimed my way. Like he was hoping to consume my soul.
I blinked at the man sipping his coffee—or the devil’s tears—at a distance much too far for a human to have caught that. “How did he hear us?”
Cam’s chest shuddered with an unsteady breath. “There are theories. And they all involve Satan.”
“I knew it. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

4 " Adam inclined his head toward Owen. “Two questions. Was I Fabio in that scenario? And who is Fabio?”
Brown eyes rolled. “Yes, and Google that shit.”
And he did. “Ho! My nose is way smaller!”
Cam grabbed the smartphone out of Adam’s hand. “Look at those baby blues, though. Piercing. Erotic, even. You could totally be related.”
A grin tipped Adam’s mouth. “Really?”
Cam slapped the phone against Adam’s chest. “Dude. No. Not really. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

5 " It’s just a shirt. I have no emotional connection to it or the band. I just didn’t feel like coming to work topless today.”
Camden’s hand slammed down on the counter. “Shit, are there days that you come topless? I would like to make sure I’m here for that. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

6 " I’ll let you get back to sweating and grunting.”
“You probably shouldn’t leave then. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

7 " I’m only sensitive in the area that counts, Sticks.”
“The soft spot on your skull that never hardened? "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

8 " Minutes later, the door flung wide and Ben drew in a ragged breath with a decent attempt to control his lungs. “All done? You cough for the nice lady?”
“Yeah, it was everything I hoped for and more. Where have you been?”
Ben hacked and then cleared his throat. “Art building.”
Art…? Ben really wasn’t the artsy type. “Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Cam leaned toward me and whisper-hissed, “It’s the gayness.”
Ben scowled at his brother. “Yes, all gays have an affinity for art. We lose control of our bodies and are pulled toward it like a tractor beam.”
Eyes of warm whiskey glittered up at me as Cam kicked his legs out, landing on the carpet. “Told ya. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

9 " I wasn’t all that sure God existed because there was no explaining why He hated me so much. It wasn’t as though He’d learned not to like me; it was more like one of those insta-hates that only intensified without any reason. And He loved screwing me over. Like it was His favorite pastime or something. Like He really had nothing else better to do than fuck with my life. Just when I thought there wasn’t one more obstacle He could throw my way, He proved me wrong.
More than God loved screwing me over, He really loved proving me wrong. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

10 " Once upon a times and happy ever afters could suck it and die. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

11 " Little known fact and I’d learned this one early on. Mom had two voices. One was nurturing, sweet and nice, loving and gentle. That was the voice she’d used for whoever was on the phone just now. Actually, most people were on the receiving end of that voice. Most people meaning anyone who didn’t have a penis with the last name Scott.

The other, though, was reserved for her dipshit sons or anyone with a penis and the last name Scott. There was nothing sweet and loving in that tone and she had the uncanny ability to make me feel like I was four years old again and I’d just used her red lipstick to draw Iron Man on the wall. No doubt, it was our fault. We’d driven our poor mother to adopt this alternate persona over the years because we were complete and utter dipshits. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

12 " One simply did not invite death upon their door unless they were hoping to die. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

13 " Stepping out of the kitchen, Ben glared at him. “I have no problem kicking your ass.”

“I’m sure there are a lot of things you like to do with asses. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

14 " Next time, I’ll get a male stripper. All parties should be equal opportunity hard-ons. What do you like? Cops? Firemen? "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

15 " The Trojan box advertised BARESKIN—GET CLOSER.
Was that a problem? Not being close enough? I mean…can a dude really get any closer than being inside a chick’s body cavity? I wouldn’t know. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

16 " Good God!” Lids sliding closed, he moaned. I think I was witnessing a foodgasm and it was far too similar to another gasm I never wanted to hear from my father.
I should avert my eyes. This shit would scar me. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

17 " I tugged at the bottom hem of his tank. “Why do you heart roosters?”
His brow quirked. “Really, Mags? If I need to explain this to you, you’re worse off than I thought.”
It took me another twenty seconds. “Oh. Cock. Got it. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

18 " Leaning back, she studied me, knuckles brushing along my jaw. “You’ve turned into a man overnight, it seems. Just yesterday, this face was three years old with a samurai turtle Band-Aid on your cheek.”
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mom. Way more awesome than samurais.”
“You’re right. Ninjas have masks and nut chucks.”
Any other time I would have laughed. “Nunchakus.”
“I know, but you definitely did some damage to your nuts that I think you should get checked out before you have children. I meant to tell you years ago. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

19 " Someone had ripped the heart right out of my chest like that creepy Indian priest rocking a skull-hat adorned with a shrunken head in The Temple of Doom. I had no idea if it was even physically possible to rip a heart out of a human chest with just a hand, but there really was no other way to explain this feeling. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)

20 " House Hufflepuff… It’s a Harry Potter reference. You huff out a lot. I just wondered if you were hoping to get picked by the Sorting Hat. "

― Ashlan Thomas , The Silent Cries of a Magpie (Cove #1)