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1 " Now that he was semidressed, I recovered enough to say, “Not really. But I guess if you want me to hold a conversation with you, you should keep your clothes on.”He gestured for me to follow him through the house, and I thought I heard him mutter, “Conversation is so overrated. "
― Renae Kaye , Shawn's Law
2 " Lisa, please tell me you didn’t say anything embarrassing?”“Like what?” she said.“Like the time I got stuck in the cubbyhouse window.” I held my breath in hope.“Told him.”“The tomato up my nose incident?”“Told him.”“The fingers I superglued together?”“Told him.“Is there anything you didn’t tell him?” I asked anxiously.I could see Lisa almost congratulating herself on the other end of the phone. “Yes. I didn’t tell him about the time you had an erection for two days straight and Dad had to take you to emergency about it. "
3 " Harley told me that you guys were having a bit of trouble, but he seemed to think it was all his fault. So maybe I could bring him over and give him a chance to apologize? I know he loves you, Shawn. If there’s anything I can do to get you guys back together, then I’ll do it.”“He doesn’t need to apologize,” I burst out. “I’m the doofus in our relationship. I need to get on my knees and say I’m sorry by sucking him off until his brain comes out his dick. Not that I keep a strict count or anything, but I owe him about twenty-three.”There was a little pause in the conversation as we looked at each other, and I realized I had overshared. With my lover’s father. I winced.“TMI?” I asked tentatively.He swallowed visibly. “Just a bit.”“Sorry.”“No. Don’t sweat it. I’ll just focus on the fact that my boy has a healthy sexual relationship and leave the other images behind.” I couldn’t be sure, but I think he was trying not to laugh. I get that a lot. "
4 " I looked down at the distorted appendage that was attached to my right arm. “Oh. That’s my masturbating hand. We need to fix this fast. And I forgot to give you your blow job in the middle of the bush. Remind me when we get home, okay, babe?”Shawn told me later that several people were walking through the car park and heard my comment, but I was beyond noticing them. "
5 " Aaarrgghheeee….”There was a pounding of feet and a yell that would make a ninja master proud. I spun around just as Shawn dashed past me in a mindless panic. Before I could understand the reason behind his mad dash for freedom, I felt the brush of feathers. A black swan was madly flapping his wings and chasing after my boyfriend, reaching his long neck to peck at his butt. Shawn ran for his life, darting across the lawn and running in a circle before making his way back toward me.“Shawn!” I gasped in shock and panic. He attempted to jump over a small tree in the garden, but caught his foot and went sprawling on the lakeside path, knocking me off balance as he fell. I took a step backward with the impact of his body against mine, but there was nothing behind me apart from lake. The water was knee deep, and I fell, spread eagle on my back, and splashed into it without hurting myself. But it was cold, wet, and dirty. Birds scattered in fright as I picked myself up with disgust.Ow, help, ow, help, ow, get off, ow.”Shawn was still yelling, and I looked up to see a swan attacking his prone body, pecking at his arms, legs, and face. His mother came to the rescue, using her handbag like a battle-ax, knocking the bird away from Shawn, then swinging the bag in front of the swan’s face until he gave up the fight and retreated to the water.I climbed out of the lake, dripping and stinking like a sewer. “Shawn?” There was blood on his clothes, and my heart stopped. “Shawn? Baby? You’re bleeding.”He sat up gingerly and inspected a couple of peck marks on his arms before touching his chin. “Oh, fiddlesticks,” he exclaimed. “I hit my chin when I fell. How bad is it, Harley?”Still soaking wet, I drove him to the hospital, where Christine exclaimed with delight over his injuries before the doctor slipped in three stitches under his chin. Christine patched up his peck marks and cleaned his grazed palms before we went home. "
