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At Wit's End QUOTES

At Wit's End QUOTES

1 " I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer. "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End

2 " The other night he took me to dinner. We were having a wonderful time when he remarked, "You can certainly tell the wives from the sweethearts."
I stopped licking the stream of butter dripping down my elbow and replied, "What kind of crack is that? "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End

3 " I want to teach you so much that you must know to find happiness within yourself. Yet I don't know where to begin or how. I want you to be a square. That's right, a square! I want you to kiss your grandmother when you walk into the room even if you're with friends...I want you to lend dignity to the things you believe in and respect for the things you don't believe in. I want you to be a human begin who needs friends, and in turn deserves them. I want you to be a square who polishes his shoes, buttons the top button of his shirt occasionally, and stands straight and looks people in the eye when they are talking to you. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. I want you to know the difference. "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End

4 " Childhood is a time for pretending and trying on maturity to see if it fits or hangs baggy, tastes good or bitter, smells nice or fills your lungs with smoke that makes you cough. It's sharing licks on the same sucker with your best friend before you discover germs. It's not knowing how much a house cost, and caring less. It's going to bed in the summer with dirty feet on clean sheets. It's thinking anyone over fifteen is 'ancient'. It's absorbing ideas, knowledge, and people like a giant sponge. Childhood is where 'competition' is a baseball game and 'responsibility' is a paper route. "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End

5 " For from this day forward his world can only widen. An existence that began in a crib, grew to a house, and extends over a two-block bicycle ride will now go even beyond that. I will share him with another woman, other adults, other children, other opinions, other points of view. I am no longer leading. I am standing behind him ready to guide from a new position. "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End

6 " To be honest, however, I will have to admit that I wrote this book for the original model - the one who was overkidsed, underpatienced, with four years of college and chapped hands all year around. I knew if I didn't follow Faith's advice and laugh a little at myself, then I would surely cry. "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End

7 " arms weren’t flabby. He never used to yell at "

― Erma Bombeck , At Wit's End