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Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4) QUOTES

Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4) QUOTES

1 " If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

2 " In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

3 " In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

4 " It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

5 " She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

6 " The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

7 " It was here that the thaum, hitherto believed to be the smallest possible particle of magic, was succesfully demonstrated to be made up of /resons/ (Lit.: 'Thing-ies') or reality fragments. Currently research indicates that each reson is itself made up of a combination of at least five 'flavours', known as 'up', 'down', 'sideways', 'sex appeal' and 'peppermint'. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

8 " Nanny Ogg was an attractive lady, which is not the same as being beautiful. She fascinated Casanunda. She was an incredibly comfortable person to be around, partly because she had a mind so broad it could accommodate three football fields and a bowling alley. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

9 " What is magic?
There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

10 " If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

11 " Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

12 " Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

13 " Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a
red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of
someone who was annoyed by it. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

14 " I thought unicorns were more . . . Fluffy. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

15 " No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed [Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles]. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

16 " … people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually because it was shorter. And it was more colorful, if you liked the color of blood. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

17 " They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

18 " The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

19 " You call yourself some kind of goddess and you know nothing, madam, nothing. What don't die can't live. What don't live can't change. What don't change can't learn. The smallest creature that dies in the grass knows more than you. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)

20 " Even the blind and meek and voiceless have gods. "

― Terry Pratchett , Lords and Ladies (Discworld, #14; Witches #4)