Home > Work > Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within

Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within QUOTES

Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within QUOTES

1 " Whenever one person in a relationship is unwilling or unable to contact his or her vulnerability in the interaction, there is a simultaneous movement into judgement: self-attack, attack of the other, or both. This is a chicken-or-the-egg situation: Do you resort to judgment for protection because you don't feel safe, or are you not feeling safe because of the presence of judgment? This is a fundamental question in dealing with the judge. "

― , Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within

2 " [Self]-distrust manifests blatantly in the judge's reaction to your experiences of expansion. 'Expansion' here refers to situations when you try something new, success at something you're never done before, stop a self-destructive habit, speak up in your own defense, recognize a truth about yourself, take on a new responsibility, and so on. The expansion is a shift in your sense of who you are or who you have taken yourself to be: who you are becomes a little bigger, includes a little more than it did before.

What does the judge do with these moments? Most everyone has experienced some sort of contraction after they expand: some letdown, some fear creeping in, some shame about being bigger, some withdrawal from the expansion. In one sense, this is part of a natural cycle of expansion and contraction. However, the contraction is seldom seen as part of the normal flow of the unfolding soul. "

― , Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within

3 " Many people spend their whole lives doing their best to follow the coaching, guidance, and warnings of the inner critic. Society supports this. However, if you choose to pursue inner work--the search for understanding who you are, what your life means, and what reality is--you are by necessity setting yourself directly in conflict with your judge. To explore what you believe, what you experience, why you act and feel the way you do, is to question the authority of the judge. To bring the underpinnings of your psychological reality (how you think and feel) into consciousness means potentially replacing those assumptions and beliefs with direct knowledge. This would mean experiencing that your conscious awareness can begin to take the place of accepted standards and beliefs. Then you don't need to be guided, limited, and controlled by the unconscious through your judge. "

― , Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within

4 " Step 1.  Write a phrase or brief sentence that describes the incident. Step 2.  State each judgment in the second person. This means write the judgments as “you” statements rather than “I” statements. (“You are stupid,” not “I am stupid.”) Step 3.  Write down what you observe about your bodily and energetic response to the attack. What sensations do you feel in your body? How has your relationship to the things and people in your environment shifted? How are your alertness and ability to respond to situations affected? Step 4.  In as simple terms as you can, note your emotional state. What kinds of feelings are provoked? How is your sense of yourself altered? "

― , Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself from the Judge Within