Home > Work > The Good Life Elsewhere
1 " It is noteworthy, the researcher further argued, that the inscription on the sword was engraved in the Romanian language, and, consequently, we see that Latin was actually Romanian, and not the invented language that for many centuries has passed for ancient Latin. "
― Vladimir Lorchenkov , The Good Life Elsewhere
2 " If a fox strangles a goose just to eat the brains, you wouldn’t say the fox killed the brains. You’d say the fox offed the goose. "
3 " When things in the country are in the pits, start a war with somebody. "
4 " Do whatever you want, as long as you say you want to be a part of Europe. And then you’ll get away with anything. Look, the Albanians do God knows what. They sell weapons and women, they take hostages. And the world forgives then, as long as they’re pro-Europe and pro-NATO. They’ll forgive us, too. That’s the trend in today’s world. "
5 " Then why do they come?”Buonarroti shrugged his shoulders.“Because things are in such a bad way in their homeland, they’re ready to flee into a black hole in space, to a concentration camp, to the Sargasso Sea of international criminal brigands.”“Between the devil and the deep blue sea,” said the new consul, demonstrating his knowledge of international idioms. "
6 " Keep harping on about how Europe’s close to accepting you,” the American ambassador to Moldova suggested coldly to the president, when the latter came to ask for a loan. “They’ll grab onto that like a rabbit after a carrot. But I’m sorry. I cannot give you any money. "
7 " Understand, you wretched of the earth, we should strive to improve what we can. Here. Right here, in Moldova. We can clean our own houses; fix our own roads. We can trim our own shrubs and works the fields. We can stop gossiping, drinking and loafing. We can become kinder, more patient, more tender with each other. We can stop ripping pages out of library books and spitting on a cleanly swept floor. Quit deceiving. Start living honest lives. Italy- the real Italy- is in us ourselves! "
8 " And Italians aren’t as sneaky, rude, mean and lazy as we Moldovans are. They aren’t such knuckledragging knuckleheads. They even dress differently. Their clothes are just like their country. Happy and festive! The people are beautiful. They all sing Italy’s praises, because there’s what to sing about. Not like Moldova, which asks you for love, but is less of a motherland than a step-motherland! "
9 " At night,” he said, raising a finger, “I hang strands of garlic on her to dry.”“Why not in the cellar?” asked Tudor stupidly.“The air’s stagnant down there. Up here there’s some air,” Vasily explained. “The body spins around in the breeze, and that’s good, because garlic needs ventilation. "
10 " True, the curlers from Larga were supposed to be playing with a forty-five pound stone. The stone they has weighed an unofficial three hundred pounds, give or take; the Largans decided to train in the most difficult conditions in order to achieve maximal effectiveness. "
11 " Father Paisii, as a priest of the Moldovan Metropolitan of Orthodox Church, refused to sing the requiem.However, as a priest of the Bessarabian Metropolitan, which in no way at all recognized the authority of the Moldovan Metropolitan, Paisii performed it. "
12 " Of course, God’s Moldovan. Otherwise why would he give me so much help?” Jan whispered.Just then, a policeman walked up and fined him three hundred euros for who-knows-what, which the old timer coughed up so as not to lose his entire stash. Jan Realizes that God is not only Moldovan, but also in some sense Romanian, too. The contradiction resolved itself when Jan recalled the close blood ties between the two nations. "
13 " Anoint the saucepan with a touch of sunflower seed oil. Grease its scars, and as soon as the oils heats up, sprinkle with flour, pour on the bouillon and the moonshine strong as the hearts of the village man who knows not how to love with his words, only with his actions, and ass the chopped apple. "
