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21 " I knew if I gave into it, I’d have to surrender myself completely. I’d lose all control. Everything I knew, everything I was, the walls I’d built up to protect myself all these years would come crashing down. I might get lost in the rubble. Yet, she made me feel alive in a way I'd only ever imagined I could feel. Bells, whistles, music. "
― , Keeping You a Secret
22 " She smiled. “You did. And my gaydar never lies. Although later, I thought you might be bi.” No, I wasn’t bi. I was sure of that now. The depth of desire—it was unbelievable. That, and the certainty of this being right. Being me. "
23 " Dammit." Kate folded her arms. "I don't understand why she has to flaunt her sexuality. It's a private thing. She should keep it that way. Be discreet, like her sister. I don't see you out there exposing yourself to the world."Not because I wouldn't, I wanted to say. And it wasn't about sexuality. Not entirely. It was about identify. Love.Kate added, "She's just asking for trouble."I thought she was asking for acceptance. "
24 " I always do that, pick a spot the first day and never move. What does that say about me? Boring and predictable. "
25 " Please,” I’d say. “Don’t leave. Come back and subject yourself to more violation and sexual assault.” God, what if she felt that way? What if she felt threatened? I was up all night obsessing about it. About her. "
26 " I wasn’t really sure what was going on with you. I mean, you gave out mixed signals. Then it dawned on me, duh. You hadn’t come out to yourself yet. I thought I’d let you decide how you wanted to handle it. You needed to be sure. You needed to make the first move. And girl,” she flopped an arm across her eyes, “you were killing me.” I smiled. “What if I’d never made the first move?” She peeked under her forearm. “I was prepared to get a sex change operation.” I smacked her shins and we both cracked up. "
27 " She left and Cece said, “I love you.” “Do you?” After today I wasn’t so sure. “No.” She shook her head. “No, I only get up at the butt-crack of dawn so I can pretend we’re having breakfast together at our lockers. I don’t even have a seven o’clock class, you know. I dropped it after the first day.” “What!” “Then I have to haul ass down three flights of stairs to pass you in the hall between third and fourth period. And I stall around outside the restroom by the art studio so I can watch you walking down the hall. I’m late to algebra every day. I love the way you move, by the way. "
28 " Cece was still in bed when I arrived. Her father bellowed up the stairs, “Cece!” then turned to me and said, “It takes divine intervention to get her up before noon. "
29 " Confiança. Tudo isso tinha a ver com confiança. Você não tem nada, a menos que possa confiar na pessoa que ama. "
30 " Why didn’t she go to college if she was so psyched about it? "