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Fake Accounts QUOTES

Fake Accounts QUOTES

21 " don’t think positivity works, not least because it’s alienating, but then again so is being a bitch. "

― , Fake Accounts

22 " Nell smiled. “Exactly. I just don’t find that fear is serving me. I have all the right opinions. I know what’s bad and what’s good. I just didn’t feel like it was making me better. Like my ex boyfriend. Ha ha. I’ve been doing a lot of baking.”

I said I’d heard vanilla extract was hard to find here. "

― , Fake Accounts

23 " I knew anything I said to the chuckling men at this point would be used to taunt me, that they would support each other’s claims in order to push me closer toward humiliation, alternately patronizing me with exaggerated agreement and through more traditional teasing. But at the same time I hated them and wanted them to know. What would Ursula K. Le Guin do? "

― , Fake Accounts

24 " Relationship anarchy is a philosophy that rejects definitions and rules, Bergman told me, drinking a Moscow mule, the ring on his pinky distracting from an otherwise normal outfit. The ring hadn’t been featured in any of his photos. "

― , Fake Accounts

25 " R.A. was conceived in 2006 by a Swede named Andie Nordgren, and its adherents believed that because love is not a limited resource, traditional hierarchical relationships that treat it as such are not just unnecessary but harmful, perpetuating toxic, retrograde attitudes that equate love with ownership. One should allow space in one’s life for the kind of intimacy that can be cut off when one designates a single person as special and reserved, and therefore owed and owing. Even designating a category of relationship as special and reserved was poison. Romantic relationships are not better than platonic or familial ones. The ingrained belief that romantic love should be life’s organizing principle is inextricably linked to patriarchy and the oppression of minorities, the poor, and immigrants, among other populations. The resulting expectations kill love at the root. When care-taking duties are foisted onto individuals and families, rather than supplied and paid for by the state, as they should be, the state must make it seem like this is the natural and noble situation. Propaganda. Marriage is obviously propaganda, but so are all conventional relationships because all conventional relationships cannot help but situate themselves in relation to marriage. Whether they are like marriage, or on track to marriage, or on track to being like marriage or not. Marriage is all-encompassing and cannot but enforce hierarchy. Thus, ritualized domestic exclusion begets systemic exclusion via our admiration and craving for exclusivity. "

― , Fake Accounts

26 " Relationship Anarchy explodes not just exclusivity but the possibility of exclusivity, he said, almost recovered, by, well, like the name says, applying anarchist principles to the interpersonal relationships—by flattening all hierarchies, among all relationships. To an outsider it sounds like polyamory—RA naturally eliminates the expectation of arbitrary sexual and romantic fidelity within an individual relationship, thereby lessening the sense of hierarchy among romantic partners—but it’s really sort of the opposite. For years, polyamorist have been trying to convince the public that theirs is a community with rules and boundaries. Ours is decidedly not. By defining our lives by what we don’t believe in, we can get closer to freedom from pain and oppression; ideally, we envision our world as a constantly (and beautifully) turning kaleidoscope of not-friendship, not-affairs, and not-marriages. There are no commitments and no guarantee that a sexual and/or romantic relationship will be more “important” than a friendship, because all relationships are free to grow to shrink or change as suits both parties, provided both engage in enthusiastic consent. Saying “no labels” sounds juvenile, he knew, but there were none, only ideals: respect, trust, communication, autonomy. "

― , Fake Accounts

27 " I asked him how it worked.

It’s about letting other people flow through you, he said, undulating in his seat to demonstrate. You may or may not flow through them, depending on how porous and willing they are. (His words.) Their porousness and willingness, however, is fundamentally and critically not your problem, he said; your problem is you and your own porousness and willingness. Or at least that’s how he interpreted it; the great thing about Relationship Anarchy was that there was no blueprint you had to follow.

This didn’t really answer my question, but I didn’t know how to respond. How porous and willing was I? It wasn’t something I’d ever considered. "

― , Fake Accounts