Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11) QUOTES

2 " Nature's what it's all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

4 " We’re all damaged. It’s a universal component of the human condition, like the stages of grief, deja vu, and expired coupons. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

6 " Life was invented for kids. But then we all grow up, and society imposes filters that block the joy of silliness and sponging up pointless little things that make childhood the magic time for which it is widely known. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

8 " These rare gray afternoons evoke a sweet, childhood melancholy in my soul, like when it rained in kindergarten and we had to stay inside and do crafts with library paste and pipe cleaners and buttons, and I made the best project in the whole class, an ultra-powerful rubber-band zip gun, but the teacher gave me a zero because I got her in the eye with a button. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

10 " It’s been said that inside every life is a fascinating book, or at least a chapter. Wrong. Some people don’t have a freakin’ semicolon, like that woman in Delray who blogs everything her cat does, and her cat even has a blog and every word is meow. But you have to play the hand you’re dealt, and I can’t exactly stand on street corners with a megaphone sharing Big Answers on Everything. That was my first choice, but a monkey wrench hit the works: a few itsy-bitsy little incidents. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

12 " Something’s gone horribly wrong in paradise. There used to be an agreement among criminals that we left the most vulnerable alone. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

14 " Too many of our state’s native accomplishments are credited elsewhere. First Skynyrd and Alabama, then everyone thinks the Allman Brothers are from Georgia.” “They’re not?” “South Daytona Beach. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

16 " Pirate’s Cove. The decor was saddles and spurs and branding irons. The sign remained a lasting testimony that pirates don’t sell drinks in north Florida, and cowboys don’t sell enough for a new sign. Swinging "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

18 " Florida is a paradox that way, one of the youngest states, yet with some of the oldest European settlements. And this particular section of the northeast shore was home to a couple of the earliest sixteenth-century Spanish and French fortifications. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)

20 " I can’t resist free coffee, like when I was at that funeral chapel. I wasn’t really at the chapel, just walking by. The door was open, and so was the casket. People crying. Bunch of folding chairs. Guess it was a viewing. Then I see the big silver coffee urn in back. Next thing I know: ‘What the hell are you doing?’ I say: ‘Drinking free coffee.’ ‘Did you know the deceased?’ ‘Not remotely.’ ‘I want you to leave.’ ‘Right after I get a refill.’ ‘No! Get the fuck out now!’ I said, ‘Have some respect: There’s an old dead guy up there.’ ‘That’s my mother!’ ‘Then you have a refund coming. They did a messed-up job. Of course I didn’t know what she looked like before, so maybe it’s a great job.’ ‘Why you—!’ Then all these guys attacked me. Well, tried to, but they didn’t anticipate my triple-threat martial-arts weapons training. I can handle a folding chair like nunchakus. Except I lost my grip and the thing went flying. I tried to explain that the old woman was already dead so it didn’t matter that the Samsonite hit her in the coffin. Things like that always seem to happen when I drink coffee. It’s weird. "

― Tim Dorsey , Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms, #11)