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The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World QUOTES

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World QUOTES

1 " It is a remarkable feat to be able to see past the inhumanity of the behavior and recognize the humanity of the person committing the atrocious acts. This is not weakness. This is heroic strength, the noblest strength of the human spirit. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

2 " When you set out to change the world, the job seems insurmountable, but each of us can do his or her small part to effect change. We change the world when we choose to create a world of forgiveness in our own hearts and minds. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

3 " This is what healing demands. Behavior that is hurtful, shameful, abusive, or demeaning must be brought into the fierce light of truth, and truth can be brutal. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

4 " If you are able to talk about your life and the joys and sorrows you have experienced, if you know your story, you are much more likely to be a skillful parent. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

5 " The way to understand any enemy is to realize that, from his perspective, he is not a villain but a hero. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

6 " When we accept our own pain we can begin to see past it to the other person's woundedness. We can begin to consider that if we were in their shoes, if we stood inside their story, we might have done to others what they did to us. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

7 " When we can accept both our humanity and the perpetrator's we can write a new story. One in which we are no longer cast as a victim, but a survivor, even perhaps a hero. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

8 " Forgiveness does not relieve someone of responsibility for what they have done. Forgiveness does not erase accountability. It is not about turning a blind eye or even turning the other cheek. It is not about letting someone off the hook or saying it is okay to do something monstrous. Forgiveness is simply about understanding that every one of us is both inherently good and inherently flawed. Within every hopeless situation and every seemingly hopeless person lies the possibility of transformation. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

9 " We are not responsible for what breaks us, but we can be responsible for what puts us back together again. Naming the hurt is how we begin to repair our broken parts. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

10 " Transformation begins in you, wherever you are, whatever has happened, however you are suffering. Transformation is always possible. We do not heal in isolation. When we reach out and connect with one another—when we tell the story, name the hurt, grant forgiveness, and renew or release the relationship—our suffering begins to transform. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

11 " Forgiveness is truly the grace by which we enable another person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew. To not forgive leads to bitterness and hatred. Like self-hatred and self-contempt, hatred of others gnaws away at our vitals. Whether hatred is projected out or stuffed in, it is always corrosive to the human spirit. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

12 " A very important but difficult piece of renewing relationships is accepting responsibility for our part in any conflict. If we have a relationship in need of repair, we must remember that the wrong is not usually all on one side, and we are more easily able to restore relations when we look at our contribution to a conflict. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

13 " Giving the emotion a name is the way we come to understand how what happened affected us. After we’ve told the facts of what happened, we must face our feelings. We are each hurt in our own unique ways, and when we give voice to this pain, we begin to heal it. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

14 " What about evil, you may ask? Aren’t some people just evil, just monsters, and aren’t such people just unforgivable? I do believe there are monstrous and evil acts, but I do not believe those who commit such acts are monsters or evil. To relegate someone to the level of monster is to deny that person’s ability to change and to take away that person’s accountability for his or her actions and behavior. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

15 " There is a certain kind of dignity we admire, and to which we aspire, in the person who refuses to meet anger with anger, violence with violence, or hatred with hatred. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

16 " We are always at our best when compassion enables us to recognize the unique pressures and singular stories of the people on the other side of our conflicts. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

17 " Renewing a relationship is a creative act. We make a new relationship. It is possible to build a new relationship regardless of the realities of the old relationship. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

18 " When we ignore the pain, it grows bigger and bigger, and like an abscess that is never drained, eventually it will rupture. When that happens, it can reach into every area of our lives—our health, our families, our jobs, our friendships, our faith, and our very ability to feel joy may be diminished by the fallout from resentments, anger, and hurts that are never named. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

19 " I would like to share with you two simple truths: there is nothing that cannot be forgiven, and there is no one un-deserving of forgiveness. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World

20 " do not heal in isolation. Connecting with others is how we develop compassion for others and for ourselves. "

― Desmond Tutu , The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World