Home > Work > Memoir: The Cathartic Night (Contemplating Temporality to Inevitability)
1 " Maybe there exists an inherent contradiction in our desires. Maybe this is the reason why we never feel contentment even after the fulfilment of our desires. Maybe we desire actually of a ‘continuous desire’ or persistence of a desire and not its ‘fulfilment’ as such. "
― Aman Tiwari , Memoir: The Cathartic Night (Contemplating Temporality to Inevitability)
2 " Am I selfish to rejoice in my freedom as a priceless possession? Is freedom antecedent to selfishness or does it empower us to be selfless for others? "
3 " If all my life has been a mirror reflecting the others then who am I? What are my desires? "
4 " Everything has a reason attached to its inception by virtue of the choices we make. The choices indeed materialize the reasons. The reason being the ‘cause’ and every cause conceptualizes an ‘effect’ at its core, thereby identifying itself under the principle of causality. "
5 " Being “subjectively objective” is to encompass every subjective perspective by appreciation, making oneself unique within the opinionated crowd. Both elements of subjectivity and objectivity must be incorporated in consonance with each other as no objectivity can be comprehended by our subjective ways of being. Objectivity lies in the realization of the existence of subjective realities. The only reality is the existence of multiple realities having their inception as human consciousness, which is the sole commonality. Subjectivity came into being with the advent of the mankind. Our varied perspectives to perceive consciousness gave it a subjective nature. It is only by the process of disintegration that one actualizes the objective aspect of consciousness residing at its core. "
6 " I, is the most valuable possession of human being, a courtesy of consciousness; explore and cherish it. "
7 " Do you know existence is in its purest of state when it experiences total freedom? One is under the illusion of freedom when he is into self, apart and along with the people, and this illusion shatters the day one meets with the reality that like others he too is not alone and free; but in fact, a time comes in everyone’s life, the moment of death, when the realization is thrust upon that all this time it was the illusion of reality within the illusion of freedom that created a false sense of togetherness as since inception everyone has been alone and will be until the inevitable death befalls upon them. "
8 " Often, being in awareness and being in despair coincide. "
9 " Dying with hopelessness is to die in despair. Hope is to know the certainty of uncertainness. It is not to quantify the uncertainness as this act itself is the act in despair, but it is to know the certainty of the existence of uncertainness. To know how certain is the ‘uncertain’. The temporality of existence is uncertain, and to know the certainty of that uncertainness is to know the inevitability of death. "
10 " Maybe Life and Death seems so contrary to us because of the way we have comprehended life for all these times. And maybe, just maybe, they are one and the same thing. We have indeed made possession an indispensable part of our lives, the amassment of wealth as an intrinsic part of ourselves. Whereas death confronts us with its finality, dispossessing us from all our accumulations and from what we considered as ourselves. Maybe we can comprehend death by understanding life not as the sole purpose of our existence but as a mere point of our inception. Existence consists of two phenomena in totality; life and death. Life is an event of temporal nature identified by its subjectivity. While death is a phenomenon preordained by the presence of life itself and is recognized by its objective nature providing closure to its preceding event. Both are equally significant to ourselves. Life is not to be considered as a sole precious possession of ours which death puts away. It is not which we possess, it is us, a part of ours just as is death. "
11 " Why me? I have committed no sin? Anyway, what is even a ‘sin’? Who determines it? It’s all about subjectivity. Determination is a process of interpretation which is based upon observation. While observation on the other hand is the actualized outcome of our perception. For me it’s a sin to defy our own subjectivity and deny its existence in order to live an illusory life that is born out of Thanatos; the death instincts including fear, pride and ego. The only objectivity that is to be achieved through our respective subjectivity is to be true to ourselves, shed the lies which we have been feeding to ourselves under the influence of others; embrace the idiosyncratic nature of our being. Even if it cost our lives, we die not in denial but in acceptance. Nobody is free from their fate of death, but until then we are free to choose either to be an object of other’s reality or to be a subject of our own; defining our own essence as we exist. Even if life is an endless journey of meaningless repetition, I shall not surrender to this inevitable fate. I shall walk through it at my own pace and with no baggage forced upon me whatsoever. Let this be as my act of rebel against it. I refuse to override the preordained absurdity, its fundamental repetition by self-induced repetition lying in the substratum of denial. I AM FREE; FREE TO BE MYSELF! "
12 " To reap wisdom; that was, that is and that forever will be my purpose of life. "
13 " I do not believe in the uselessness of suffering. It might be a profound reason to live. "
14 " Life and temporality are indispensably attached to the inevitability of death. Is ‘living’ a fight against inevitability? "
15 " What all I see is all that is; that exist! "
16 " Nothing exists in isolation without its counterpart; the opposite. Individuality cannot be expressed in consonance with the totality of freedom as ultimate freedom exists only in the inevitability of death and as for living, we all are bound to aspects of causality. "
17 " The element of duality gives birth to ‘contradiction’. Every individual has some element of self-contradiction embedded within. "
18 " The inevitability of death transpires us to acknowledge the absurdity of the worldly existence. Hope precipitates with this awareness as we realize the futility of materialism, including the possession of self as a body in the meaningless world of nothingness. We see death as a greater event than the life itself having meaning as a denouement, freeing us from the clinches of our desires, despairs and memories. We mustn’t attach hope to exterior desires but rather relate it to the inwardness in order to prevent ourselves from the never-ending chase for things which are incidental to existence and not the existence itself. "
19 " The inception of love has always been for self. We must actualize self-love before portraying it outwards. We must overcome the despair attached to the loneliness before finding other as a companion, or else it’ll be a mere act of escapism which foster dependency. "
20 " I think the uncertainty of our lives is one such commonality that unites us all despite our varied difference. "
