1
" It is a curious fact that small boys are more terrified of their babysitters than small girls are. In part, this is because small girls and babysitters, who are usually slightly larger girls, belong to the same species, and therefore understand each other. Small boys, on the other hand, do not understand girls, and therefore being looked after by one is a little like a hamster being looked after by a shark. If you are a small boy, it may be some consolation to you to know that even large boys do not understand girls, and girls, by and large, do not understand boys. This makes adult life very interesting. "
― John Connolly , The Gates (Samuel Johnson, #1)
10
" Samuel didn't move. 'What will you do if I climb off the bed?'
'Well I can eat you, or I can drag you down to the depths of Hell, never to seen or heard from again. Depends, really.'
'On what?'
'Lost of things: hygiene, for a start. After tasting that sock, I don't fancy eating any part of you, to be honest, so it'll have to be the depths of Hell for you, I'm afraid. "
― John Connolly , The Gates (Samuel Johnson, #1)
20
" If you really want to annoy someone, you can make little inverted commas by holding up two fingers of each hand and twitching them gently, as though you're tickling an invisible elf under the armpits. For example, when your mother calls you for dinner, and dinner turns out to be boiled fish and broccoli, you can say to her, "Well, I'll just eat my 'dinner', then," and do the little fingers sign. She'll love it. Seriously. I can hear her laughing already. "
― John Connolly , The Gates (Samuel Johnson, #1)