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The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1) QUOTES

The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1) QUOTES

1 " I don’t want to waste my life anymore. I owe it to myself to do more. Not because I’m being greedy, but because I’m alive. "

― Olivia Spring , The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1)

2 " M&S, Lola’s and Hummingbird should offer an emergency 2 a.m. cupcake delivery service for people going through a break-up, because sometimes a girl just needs to bury her face in frosted icing to feel better. "

― Olivia Spring , The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1)

3 " In my attempt to be carefree, I hadn’t pruned my lady garden before I’d left, and it was like a jungle down there. I wasn’t expecting visitors… "

― Olivia Spring , The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1)

4 " Of course,’ I replied in agreement. ‘Like I said, I know it’s the right decision. And I know it’s silly, but I get these visions of a sixty-year-old me, sitting in a rocking chair all alone with cobwebs growing from my vagina after decades of inactivity and then turning on the TV and seeing Rich named as the world’s most successful architect with a thirty-year-old wife, three gorgeous kids, and they’ll be living in between their homes in St Tropez, the Maldives and LA, whilst I’ll be rocking away in a big empty house, regretting the day I’d told him it was over. "

― Olivia Spring , The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1)

5 " I’d be prepared to give up chocolate for a month for one night of passion…Actually, let’s be realistic. Maybe a week. I really like chocolate… "

― Olivia Spring , The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1)

6 " It was safe to say that if I was the last woman on earth, he wouldn’t even spit on me, never mind snog me. "

― Olivia Spring , The Middle-Aged Virgin (The Middle-Aged Virgin, #1)