Home > Work > Croak (Croak, #1)
61 " I don’t get it,” she said. “I mean, why teenagers? Why pick the most immature people on earth to handle such a huge responsibility?”Driggs looked up at the stars, then back at Lex. “You know Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?”Lex stared.“The world of pure imagination?” he added.“I’m familiar with the world of pure imagination,” Lex said dryly. “I’m just skeptical as to how manufacturing candy is in any way similar to reaping mortal souls.”“You know how at the end, Willy Wonka gives Charlie the factory?” Driggs went on. “Do you remember the reason he chose a child?”“Yeah, he said adults would want to do everything their own way, whereas a child—”“Would learn all the secrets,” said Driggs, “and keep them secret.” He flicked a pebble off the roof. “I mean, now that you’ve seen what really goes on here, have you thought for even a second of ratting us out?”“No, but—” The wordless anxiety that had been pumping through her veins ever since Uncle Mort touched that old woman came spilling out all at once. “I just find it disturbing that people—we ordinary, mortal, dumbass people—are in charge of all this. And we’ve covered it up for, what, millennia? You really expect me to believe that?”“Just because it’s the biggest secret in the history of the world doesn’t make it any less true.”Even Lex couldn’t think of a snarky answer to this.“Did I just blow your mind?” Driggs asked. “I think I just blew your mind.” With that, he pulled out a handful of at least a dozen Oreos from his pocket and shoved three into his mouth "
― Gina Damico , Croak (Croak, #1)
62 " What’s wrong?” Elysia asked, concerned. “Is it the fact that the very foundation of our world is crumbling all around us and we’re barreling forth into a hellish vision of uncertainty and terror the likes of which have never been seen?”“Sounds wonderful to me,” Edgar said, drifting by. "
63 " And you’re the only ones who have discovered this? The scientific world is still in the dark about the mystical powers of death-knelling invertebrates?”“Biologists don’t have access to the same knowledge that we do,” said Uncle Mort, “and therefore don’t have the technology to fully realize the abilities of our dear gelatinous friends.”Lex opened her mouth, then closed it. What was the point?“That’s why the machines are called Smacks,” Driggs said, “because ‘smack’ is the technical term—”“For a group of jellyfish,” Lex finished.He looked at her in disbelief. Or admiration. It was hard to tell. “How did you know that?”“It’s not very nice of you to just assume I’m a raging idiot such as yourself.”“Oh, I would never assume what I already know to be true.”“Don’t think I won’t blacken that other eye.”“Don’t think I won’t laugh heartily at your futile attempt.”“Kids,” said Uncle Mort. “Coexist, please "
64 " So here’s the drill. Every morning you’ll come here to the Bank to check in with the Etceteras.”“Wait, what?”“Etceteras. ETC stands for Ether Traffic Controllers, and the nickname just evolved from there.”“What does that make us, then?”“Well, technically,” said Uncle Mort, “we’re called Gamma Removal and Immigration Managers—”“But are more commonly known as Grims,” Driggs said.“Can’t say I approve of the term.” Uncle Mort flourished his razor-sharp scythe and smiled. “We’re not that grim, are we?”Lex snickered. "
65 " Why do kids think adults lead such opulent lives of leisure?” He shook his head. “Believe me, I don’t. "
66 " After finding Corpp’s devoid of Juniors later that evening, it didn’t take Lex and Driggs long to guess that their crew had decided to hole up in the Crypt’s common room for the night. Together they headed down Dead End and made their way through a darkened, narrow tunnel, eventually emerging into a small green courtyard surrounded by a block of rooms. As they approached the largest one, a heated argument between Sofi and Ayjay wafted through the window.“I’ve got ten hotels on the Conservatory. Seriously, you owe me, like, eighty gatrillion dollars.”“Not until I get my triple-letter score for passing Go.”“No way! You couldn’t remove the Charley Horse, remember?”“So? I still found the Lead Pipe in Park Place!”“Which you had to mortgage after Queen Frostine totally sank your battleship!”Lex attempted to follow this conversation as she walked through the door, but she failed somewhere around the time Elysia almost toppled over on the Twister mat. “Jump in,” Elysia said from the floor, wobbling way too close to the jellyfish tank. “There are a couple of tokens left in the box.”Driggs sat down on one of the many battered couches and dug through the box, removing a wrench, a top hat, a rook, a green gingerbread man, and a decapitated Rock’Em Sock’Em Robot. Lex looked at the game board on the table, a mangled conglomeration of Monopoly, Clue, Candy Land, Scrabble, and chess.“What the crap?” she asked the room.“Don’t touch the Candlestick or you’ll automatically lose,” Elysia warned from the mat, flicking the spinner with her free hand "
67 " She looked at Driggs, who was still glaring at her. “May I help you?” she asked peevishly.“Knock it off.”“Knock what off? I’m not doing anything.”“Yes, you are. You’re scheming.” He got up and walked toward his room. “Scheming leads to crazy ideas. Crazy ideas lead to trouble. I get dragged into your trouble, we both get kicked out of Croak, and the next thing you know, we’re freezing to death in the waters of the North Atlantic.”“Dude, you are way too obsessed with Titanic.”Driggs looked indignant. “What is so wrong with having a healthy respect for heart-wrenching filmmaking of unequaled —” He shook his head. “Look, this isn’t about me. Just quit it with the evil plots, all right? If you get exiled, I’m going to be pissed as hell.” He slammed the door.“Why?” she yelled.He poked his head out. “I don’t want to have to clean out your room again.” He slammed the door once more and disappeared into a crash of drums.Lex was not amused. Although secretly, she was "
