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A Match Made in High School QUOTES

A Match Made in High School QUOTES

1 " I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.'

'I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

2 " And I’m sorry,” Big Earrings said, “But how is some course going to teach them how marriage works? I’ve been married three times, and I haven’t figured it out yet.” She snorted. “I figured out how to call a lawyer, though. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

3 " I'm serious, Mar, I don't know how to act around him now. I can't be nice, because he'll hate that. But I can't be mean just to be nice."
"You really need medication."
"I'm in a quandary. A Catch-22. I'm screwed. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

4 " You know, if you're going to stalk someone, you should be less obvious. For starters, try not to standing in the middle of a field, gawking at your prey. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

5 " You're not gay, are you?
What?!
I mean you've never had a boyfriend. And you're not exactly...girly.
I'm not gay. I'm just unpopular. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

6 " We were in such good moods, we even decided to hit Todd's house for candy. Sam rang the doorbell, and when it opened, this hideous, rubber monster face roared at us. Sam screamed. Todd started laughing and took off the mask. I yelled, "Put it back on! Put it back on! Your hideousness is terrifying!"
Todd did a fake yuk-yuk-yuk at my joke. "What are you guys supposed to be? Is it Prom Night Massacre or something?"
Sam sighed at Todd's obvious stupidity. "We're zombie princesses, Todd. Can't you tell?" She stuck her arms straight out in front of her and said, "BRAINS! BRAINS!"
I patted Sam on the head and said, "Sorry, Sam. You're wasting your time with this one. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

7 " It's refreshing to see you using your psychology skills for evil as well as for good. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

8 " She crashed. I think she was literally high on sugar.
Seriously I thought she was going to start free basing pixy stix. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

9 " So he likes being mean to you. And you like that he likes bean mean to you.
And I like being mean to him too. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

10 " Amanda doesn't hate you. She's jealous of you."
"What? Todd listen. Drugs are bad, buddy. You shouldn't do them first thing in the morning. Wait until after lunch at least. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

11 " Rhythm? Not only do I have to defy gravity. I have to have rhythm while I do it? "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

12 " Your neck smells like cheese,' I said.
'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

13 " He isn't so bad."
"You're not fake-married to him. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

14 " Todd came toward me with the squad trailing behind him like a street gang of angry thugs with breasts. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

15 " Sorry, Maggie, but I'm not into bondage. Even the subconscious kind. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

16 " All in all, he looked kind of ... dangerous. Like he could kick somebody's ass, big time, but with style. Like a suave, tough-guy super spy. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

17 " I couldn't exactly blame Jane Austen for being a romantic. What the hell else was there to do back then for fun? "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

18 " If I was Todd's wife in real life, I'd have to kill myself. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I wouldn't kill myself. But I'd definitely turn lesbian, at the very least. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

19 " I"d done more apologizing in the past week than a politician with a crack pipe and a sex addiction. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School

20 " Around here news travels faster than mono, and by the end of the day, the whole school had heard about Todd's and my standoff with Principal Miller and Maggie Klein. By the time the story circulated and came back around to me, I had apparently bitch-slapped Maggie Klein and then tongued Todd in front of Principal Miller.
Oh, and Mom was a former showgirl in an all-gay revue. "

― Kristin Walker , A Match Made in High School