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Finding Jesus QUOTES

Finding Jesus QUOTES

1 " We are nothing more than pawns on this chessboard of life. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

2 " For some reason, I unbuckled my belt and dropped my trousers the moment Jesus asked me if I had spare trousers, undeterred that I would be vulnerable in my Y-fronts. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

3 " Martin Luther King had a dream too,’ snaps Michael, ‘and look where that got him! "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

4 " Time is a fickle friend; always and never on your side. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

5 " Jesus growls, ‘Man is his own worst enemy! Nothing but a cannibal eating his own head; a volatile, self-obsessed hybrid, that never should’ve been allowed to evolve. Let them swallow each other up! "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

6 " I always had a sense of humour — a killer sense of humour, but Man killed it. Speaking of killers, do you know how many times serial killers pray to me after and before they end someone’s life? As if, by praying to me, that makes everything okay…share the burden, if you will. Apologies, but I don’t need that kind of burden. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

7 " Once again, Jesus turns to the crowds. ‘Oh, by the way, souls don’t exist, despite the rumours. I was merely being poetic. The fact remains that you are mainly water — 60-70% I believe — blood, guts, bones, and some of you have brains. Your soul was invented by those living loved ones to help justify the dead’s ethereal journey to the afterlife. There is no journey. Life itself is a dead-end. And, by association, the afterlife doesn’t exist. Sorry to be a bit of a party-pooper. Mother insisted that I put you all in the picture. Moral of the story? Enjoy life while you can, and never take an extra minute for granted, because Mother can grin and bare her razor teeth whenever and whenever she likes. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

8 " This man just saved Brian’s life,’ Stacey declares.
‘Actually, I brought the boy back from the dead. Slight difference. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

9 " When I got back to Toledo, my house had become overrun by hippies, squatters, religious nuts, the curious, masochists, anarchists, pacifists, and the ghost of a suicide victim. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

10 " We are living in a dystopian world. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

11 " Look,’ Jesus points out, ‘do you think the guy cleaning the public toilets really wants to be dealing with people’s shit on a Monday morning? No, he does it because it’s in his contract. I’m dealing with people’s shit twenty-four-seven because,’ turning to the hobbled crow and speaking sarcastically, ‘it’s in my contract. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

12 " Today is the day that I learn women have an innate connection to Mother Nature; a sixth sense for the bitter-sweet cycle of life, whereas men are challenged with five. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

13 " Okay, that’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m going to trade in my Biblical Studies PhD for a hot dog! "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

14 " Mankind can no longer see himself in the looking-glass. He looks up at the ancient planets, knows nothing about them in his ignorance and innocence, yet he wants to colonise the wise stars. It’s time to open our eyes and look within the looking-glass. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

15 " We’re nothing but monkeys that got lucky… "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

16 " The human being, such a clumsy insect. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

17 " Man came from caves in the beginning and Man will return to caves in the end. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

18 " Faith, ladies and gentlemen, is a knife that slices through birthday cakes and necks with the same blade. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

19 " I’m astounded by the fact that humankind can shoot its children in the face, then send food and blankets to the same blinded children. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus

20 " But soon, when the world cries, man will return to the caves of his forefathers to seek shelter from her fiery and furious tears. "

― Jonathan Dunne , Finding Jesus