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Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date QUOTES

Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date QUOTES

1 " Guys who would make fun of girls for sexual inexperience are terrible people, and when girls do it to other girls it feels even shittier. Guys who shame girls who haven't had sex want them to feel like they aren't doing their job, which is to be sexually available and attractive to guys. (And never mind if they are gay, or just uninterested.) Girls who shame other girls for these reasons are helping those guys. They are saying this: You are not accomplished where it matters, and I am better than you. I have proven that men find me attractive, and that is what counts. These people, boys and girls and men and women alike, are all dickheads. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

2 " I'm going to stay a little uptight and anxious. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

3 " I am obviously not a patient person. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

4 " It was different than all the rest because I say it was. I felt it was. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

5 " This is THE most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, and it involves both drugs and a toilet. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

6 " Girls are nothing to be afraid of, no matter the kind. Boys, on the other hand. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

7 " There are a lot of things wrong with this particular approach to getting your girlfriend to agree to reenter a relationship with you. Probably the biggest problem is that it's a PowerPoint presentation. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

8 " And though nobody has been dumb enough to say anything close to "You need to get laid" to my face, I resent the idea that anyone might think, if they knew my history, that I'd be slightly different by virtue of having a penis-however briefly-inside me. That is some phallocentric bullshit if I ever heard any. Hypothetical penises don't make the rules. I make the rules. I love the rules. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

9 " I can't be in love with every hot movie star; it's exhausting. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

10 " It has often been hard for me to know if people are serious when they talk about making T-shirts. Just to be clear: Nobody ever means it, ever. Making and wearing matching, themed T-shirts is embarrassing. Unless you want to make some with me right now, or something. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

11 " Falling in love is totally unimaginable to me. I think maybe the best things often are. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

12 " You always forget that it's impossible to grieve every minute of the day. You always forget that a mourning period can include laughter, but just because it's there it won't mean that you're really okay. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

13 " My darling, patient friends tell me that I'm still single only because I'm picky, and because I haven't met the right person yet. This would feel truer if I hadn't been shut down by quite so many wrong people that I, despite my allegedly high standards, chased after. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

14 " Why would I want to go out to dinner and a movie with someone I'm not completely crazy about... getting someone else involved means I have to put on a nicer outfit and stress out about the way I look chewing my food. If I'm going to have to consider my chewing face, I only want to do it for someone I think I might be able to really like. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

15 " In fact, I think that’s probably what the Bermuda Triangle is up to. It doesn’t mean to do any harm, and it’s actually pretty nice once you get to know it. It’s just that Bermuda doesn’t know how to handle itself when somebody sails into its territory, because that hardly ever happens. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

16 " Something that is very hard to learn and accept about real life is that a lot of people, a surprising number of people, don't really care about anyone but themselves. They pretend to care, and they can go through the motions a little bit for a little while, but when real and sad things happen that last longer than a few days, they lose interest fast. It is best to not have these people be your best friends, because they are terrible. Unfortunately, they are everywhere, and, to make things worse, they sometimes procreate. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

17 " All I give are fucks. And it seems to me that it might be nice, on occasion, to get rid of some of them. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

18 " I'm not trying to be self-righteous about that, but I am literally the best friend a person could ask for and I am a good listener and anybody who doesn't want to be my friend should take a long, hard look at him/herself and whisper, "What is wrong with me? Why was I born without the capacity to love? "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

19 " This is what I have held against boyfriends all my life: that they are the people who steal your best friends away from you piece by piece, and when they give them back (if they ever do), it is only when they have made your best friends sadder and more heartbroken than when they were first taken. Because that's what it looks like, from here. It had to be his fault, because how could someone who is my best friend ever really choose to see me less and less until we see each other almost not at all? This is what I believed: Best friends, if only by virtue of you calling them your "best friend," just don't do that.
But they do. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date

20 " Sex is not a wizard, whatever magical-seeming properties it might possess in its better forms. If your friend says to you, "You're being mean, you need to get laid," your problem is not sex. Your problems are that you might be acting like an asshole, and your friends are definitely idiots. "

― Katie Heaney , Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date