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1 " Many a blue-collar father's dream is that his son never has to sweat or break his back on the job. His son can avoid the daily grind he endured. It was a well-intentioned hope for an easier future. What those fathers did not imagine was that their sons would lose all of those skills that generations of fathers found perfunctory. Those fathers did not imagine their sons would find emptiness and no sense of accomplishment in their comfortable, air-conditioned offices. There is no satisfaction in ten percent close ratios, contract evaluations, or supply chain management that compares to a newly-painted home, an assembled engine, or a finished cabinet. "
― Ryan Landry, , Masculinity Amidst Madness
2 " Focus goals on your capabilities, not material wealth. You live in a consumer society geared to create an ever-present need to consume and accumulate more. Gauging yourself by the possessions of others will never leave you satisfied. There is always something new to buy. Our culture comes with designated advertising breaks to make sure to poke at you that you need more stuff. At its core, advertising is telling you to be unsatisfied with everything except the very thing they are selling you. Material wealth can be taken away at any moment. A rich man and a useful man can both be made bankrupt, but who will be drafted first in a moment of crisis whenall the money is gone? The useful man. "
― , Masculinity Amidst Madness
3 " If you see an obese man in the gym struggling on a treadmill or with a weight, do not mock him. Encourage him. At some moment, we all have been the new gym attendee. We all have been the out-of-shape man. We have all been the man placing light weights on bars to lift. We all have been the tired, weak man struggling not to look horrible at the new gym. Help your fellow brother return in February and feel that he is a member of the club. "
4 " These women do not stop to ponder the consequences of their claims to be playing with the boys. They do not consider the full male experience, but cosplay the particular parts the system wants them to play. She works hard for the corporation. She has meaningless sex. She acts tough. She isn't afraid to fight. She then wonders why women are depressed more, committing suicide more often, and why one in four are on mental medication. Playing at just a few parts of the male role drives women to medication, drinking, and despair. It is womans ignorance of masculinity that they would ever dare to claim she was performing a father's role. No man would claim to do a mother's role, for he knows he could never be a mother. A dog may jump around and act like a cat, but it is still a dog. "
5 " You will not learn for others to pat you on the head and feed you a biscuit. That is a child’s approach. The applause of others is nothing compared to the satisfaction of gathered wisdom. "
6 " Be careful of the man who speaks of equality. The further from himself the grievance he wishes to address, the more likely he is hiding mistreatment of those closest to him. "
7 " Charisma in this world is often just looking good and speaking well. Others merely project onto you what they want to believe to be true. Most people have superficial attachments and shallow thoughts, so the glib man can persuade many. One does not have to be a supreme salesman. No need to be a wizard with words. People clamor for a confident speaker that sounds the part. That your actions can deliver on words cements their allegiance. But even if you don’t become a leader yourself, you may find a key supporting role as a great communicator. Even before you speak, work on being a better listener and observer of cues in others. All messages must be tailored to the audience. In a group, there may be one listener who, if engaged, can turn the whole room towards your speech. Speak calmly, clearly and keep eye contact. Your voice is the voice of a leader confident in his capabilities and beliefs. Changes in tone should have a reason. "
8 " What good did all the surveillance technology do for the victim? Where is the victim's father? Where is his agency? What is his power and influence? Where is his circle of family and friends? The perpetrator has a family. In days of old, this would have been settled by the families. Instead, the pity social media post goes up, dad buys his kid a toy, and the world moves on. A familial act of justice would prevent the next stomping for another child, but that is barbaric. "
9 " If you claim to want a family, then you must seek a woman who wants a family. She may not say so at 22, but does she have the signs of a future mother? Place a baby in her arms. The more she looks at it and the less she looks at you holding the baby, the better. Watch her around children. Watch her around her grandparents. Watch her behavior when a friend is ill. Watch her with her dog. If a woman can dress up a dog and cry at its vet visits, she will cry for a child and already wants one, even if she doesn’t know it yet. She just has not found a man to lead her to motherhood, one who satisfied her primal standards. "
10 " The man who brings flowers to his woman every week walks into a trap of his own making. The week that he forgets will be the one she never will. The man who never gets his woman flowers leaves open a powerful possibility. The week that he does will be the one she will always remember. There is no sense in being a harmless rabbit, even if it is your nature. She wants a mysterious or dangerous animal who can show clemency and make an exception for her benefit. "
11 " Women want a leader, a man that is his own and makes her a part of his life. Consider the couples where the woman keeps her own name in marriage, and how that increases their odds of divorce. One house, one name. If you are relinquishing your freedom to build a family with her, she should gladly take your name. The sharp-tongued woman who claims to belong to no man would purr like a kitten for one she found worthy. Don’t believe the excuses women come up with to cover for their noncommittal behavior. Maybe she says it's for her career, as if she is destined for the corner office and executive salary. Forget the millions of successful married women for whom a name change was no hindrance (also forget that nobody really cares how much money a woman makes). "
12 " Include extended family as much as possible in your child's life. Their personalities will develop more fully if you give them a variety of figures to interact with. Children are always watching. They watch as we talk and move and extrapolate what we are thinking. They copy strength. They cору what is pleasing and beautiful. They will think as you do, so think virtuous thoughts. A child that sees his father humble himself before God will learn that humbling himself before his parents is natural. Think of your studies, your physical activity, and prayer. If children see this, they will emulate it, and it will come naturally all their lives. "
13 " Roughhouse, wrestle, and be active with your children, for age catches up with you fast. Exposure to vigorous play will keep them active even when you are not around. Play-fighting also exposes your kids to physical activity separate from actual anger and punishment. They will not run from any conflict simply because of the presentation of force. They will learn context. There will come a moment where they will hit you. It will hurt. 'They will realize their growing power. To be a man is to be aware of the possibility of physical violence. To sanitize one's persona of all aggressive tendencies is to abdicate a responsibility. Look at children's entertainment today. Why do all the male figures seem gay? They aren't, but they act feminine. They have been stripped of any sense of violence, any capability to attack or protect. These are cardboard cutouts, neutered men. "
14 " Children are naturally curious. This world is new to them. Encourage this trait as a way to develop a curious intellect. Do not be short with the child that asks questions. Use humor to end a line of questioning when a child turns into a prosecutor. Children are always surprised, and their minds lose focus when an adult drops to their level. Children will ask you many questions, progressing from what to how to why. As a child is continuously learning, you too will have to stay continuously learning. "
15 " The mind is where the attention is. The days where you have your child's full attention and trust are limited. As the leader of the household, you filter the world and its meaning for them. You allow them to interact with it on their own where you deem it appropriate. If they go to schools, they have a circle of children that tell them about the world. Do you know your children's friends' names? Do you know their parents? This should be the least of things you know about them. If they watch television, someone else is telling them about the world. Do you know the plots of the shows your children watch? Why even allow it? If you allow it, be engaged and control what is watched. "
16 " The weekend spent on the hunt for a wild animal for the potential to enjoy meals won with hard work is a crude fall pastime. In their eyes, eating processed food and watching steroided up semi-literates collide with one another is superior. “It is barbaric," they text you from their device made with materials collected by African child labor in mines while wearing shoes made in Asian sweatshops. "
17 " Like any craft and tradition, hunting too can be shared and passed down generations. From the dawn of man to our own age, the hunting party is a well-worn staple of masculinity. All hunting parties will have roles and rough hierarchy set into them. There is the man who organized the party, the experienced hunters who guide others, some who entertain and cook, and the new hunters that are not just gophers but the next generation to lead future trips. The hunting party creates inside jokes, stories that can only be known by those who attend, and fosters familial bonds. In our culture of chaos,a hunting trip allows for quiet moments that few get anywhere else with friends or family. "
18 " Eloquence is a skill to work on, and it starts with simply overcoming apprehension and nervousness when speaking to a stranger. If you have been honing your skills and knowledge in different areas, you should be confident when speaking about them. The medium is the message, so the well-put-together man speaking eloquently about his passion or beliefs is a man that will entice others to follow him. "
19 " Small pioneer towns were often collections of men that believed in similar ideas,prayed to the same God, and brought their families along to build civilization on the plains or desert. They had to trust one another with their lives and their families' lives. These men had set roles to play, but could trust in one another to defend the territory and respect each other's rights and privileges. Just as not all men can be warriors, priests, or scholars, the Männerbund allows for specialization and a network of skilled and reliable men. A hierarchy will form and plans can be executed because order is found within the Männerbund. "
20 " These rituals are nearly gone in our chaotic society and the chain of generations is broken for so many. The lowest replica for this now is the circle of friends that verbally haze a newcomer. If he sticks around, he is accepted, but if he leaves, well, he did not pass the threshold. There are moments, though, where we sense our elders letting us in as respected men. Maybe not men, but not as the boys we just were. It might have been the first time your father or uncle invited you hunting. It could have been the first time your father viewed you as a help when the car broke down and bragged about it to friends. You may have only held a flashlight and handed him the right socket, but you did it without complaint. It might even just be that invitation to sit by the fire and talk with the men. "
