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Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government QUOTES

Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government QUOTES

1 " The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

2 " A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

3 " If government were a product, selling it would be illegal. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

4 " The whole idea of government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

5 " The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

6 " Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

7 " It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

8 " Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

9 " The college idealists who fill the ranks of the environmental movement seem willing to do absolutely anything to save the biosphere, except take science courses and learn something about it. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

10 " Everyone with any sense and experience in life would rather take his fellows one by one than in a crowd. Crowds are noisy, unreasonable and impatient. They can trample you easier than a single person can. And a crowd will never buy you lunch. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

11 " Politicians are interested in people. Not that it is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

12 " The three branches of government number considerably more than three and are not, in any sense, "branches" since that would imply that there is something they are all attached to besides self-aggrandizement and our pocketbooks. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

13 " …being specific is the essence of lawmaking and the whole difference between having a Congress and having a mom. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

14 " Nor did I ever determine any valuable rule for examining the branches of government, except one: If you want to know what an institution does, watch it when it's doing nothing. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

15 " Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

16 " Whenever I'm in the middle of conformity, surrounded by oneness of mind with people oozing concurrence on every side, I get scared. And when I find myself agreeing with everybody, too, I get terrified. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

17 " Their view of government was O’Rourke’s: “this oozing behemoth, this fibrous tumor, this monster of power and expense. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

18 " All the senators and representatives and all the citizens of the United States that voted for them are guilty of forgetting one basic rule of business and life: When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. "

― P.J. O'Rourke , Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government