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Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2) QUOTES

Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2) QUOTES

1 " Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.
Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

2 " It was a large room, heavily outfitted with the usual badly ventilated furnaces, rows of bubbling crucibles, and one stuffed alligator. Things floated in jars. The air smelled of a limited life expectancy. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

3 " Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpork, but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of The Shades was suicide. Asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide. Saying 'Got rocks in your head?' to a troll was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

4 " Aargh! I’m too short for this shit! "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

5 " Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

6 " It’s bad enough barging into Guild property, but we’ll get into really serious trouble if we shoot anyone. Lord Vetinari won’t stop at sarcasm. He might use’ - Colon swallowed - ‘irony. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

7 " Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

8 " Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things--unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog... "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

9 " He calculated the number of bricks in the wall, first in twos and then in tens and finally in sixteens. The numbers formed up and marched past his brain in terrified obedience. Division and multiplication were discovered. Algebra was invented and provided an interesting diversion for a minute or two. And then he felt the fog of numbers drift away, and looked up and saw the sparkling, distant mountains of calculus. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

10 " For several years he hadn't moved outside a large, airy room, but this was OK, because he spent most of his time inside his own head in any case. There's a certain type of person it's very hard to imprison. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

11 " Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch! "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

12 " The city's full of people who you just see around. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

13 " Personal isn't the same as important. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

14 " The Librarian considered matters for a while. So…a dwarf and a troll. He preferred both species to humans. For one thing, neither of them were great readers. The Librarian was, of course, very much in favor of reading in general, but readers in particular got on his nerves. There was something, well, sacrilegious about the way they kept taking books off the shelves and wearing out the words by reading them. He liked people who loved and respected books, and the best way to do that, in the Librarian’s opinion, was to leave them on the shelves where Nature intended them to be. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

15 " No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

16 " If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

17 " Some people have inspired whole countries to great deeds because of the power of their vision. And so could he. Not because he dreams about marching hordes, or world domination, or an empire of a thousand years. Just because he thinks that everyone’s really decent underneath and would get along just fine if only they made the effort, and he believes that so strongly it burns like a flame which is bigger than he is. He’s got a dream and we’re all part of it, so that it shapes the world around him. And the weird thing is that no one wants to disappoint him. It’d be like kicking the biggest puppy in the universe. It’s a kind of magic. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

18 " Assassins did have a certain code, after all. It was dishonorable to kill someone if you weren't being paid. "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

19 " People ought to think for themselves... The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to. (Corporal Carrot) "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)

20 " If the Creator had said, "Let there be light" in Ankh-Morpork, he'd have got no further because of all the people saying "What colour? "

― Terry Pratchett , Men at Arms (Discworld, #15; City Watch #2)