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1 " The profiles of the people who like my online dating profile look like a sex-offender registry. "
― Vi Keeland , Happily Letter After
2 " What's his name" I asked."Don't laugh." She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "It's Duke.""No way!" I said. "That might be a good omen.""Or it could mean ... he's a dog," Sebastian deadpanned. "
3 " And now I can tell everyone my dog poops diamonds! "
4 " He's single. And is about to have clean socks. That's better than half the men you've gone out with lately already. "
5 " There was something just so beautiful about a man who saved the best parts of himself for the women in his life. "
6 " When someone comes along and makes you feel butterflies, you need to chase them. "
7 " I don’t know if it’s fate or a series of crazy coincidences that brought us together. But whatever led me to you isn’t as important as what will keep you here. "
8 " She said if you have to sit down with your child and tell them that they’ve been adopted, you waited too long. "
9 " Sometimes in life you need a little push to get where you should be. "
10 " Daddy, Sadie saved Marmaduke’s life! He was choking on a ball, and she did the hymen remover. "
11 " Birdie made it about three steps before she wiggled out of her dad’s grip, ran back to the plastic horse, and kissed the mane on the horse that ran like the wind. "
12 " If you’re really Santa, can you please bring my dad and me a special friend? Sort of like a mom, but not a mom because I only have one mom, and she’s gone. But maybe someone who can make Dad laugh more. And if she can do braids, that would be super cool. Dad is really, really bad at them. "
13 " close. “A girl noticed she started to grow hair between her legs. Not knowing what it was, she got nervous and asked her mom if it was normal. Her mom responded, ‘It’s normal, sweetheart. That’s called your monkey. It means you’re becoming a woman.’ The girl got excited. That night at dinner, she boasted about it to her sister. ‘My monkey has hair now!’ Her sister smiled. ‘Big deal. Mine’s already eaten a dozen bananas. "
14 " Last night, I told my dad that I really want someone else to braid my hair besides him. He doesn’t know how to do it right. Then I caught him watching a YouTube video on how to braid. "
15 " Our hearts are made up of all different broken pieces that belong to others, and when we find the right one, they show us how they can all fit together again. "
16 " A part of me hoped that Birdie didn’t write back, because it was starting to feel like I was playing God. I didn’t want to have to continue to mislead her as much as I never wanted to disappoint her, either. This was honestly a great time to walk away from the situation—on a very happy note. "
17 " I was on the corner of Broadway and Eighty-First Street, and Birdie lived somewhere on Eighty-Third Street, which could be close by. I really shouldn’t. I’d been so good lately. But . . . I’m already here . . . What harm could it do just to pass by? "
18 " Being happy is not really something people can make happen. It just occurs randomly while we’re living and not trying. "
19 " But any more dates like the last few, and I might have to seriously reconsider how much I liked penis. "
20 " He has a dirty mind. I love it. "