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61 " Sometimes, I think Dad and I are standing at the edge of different continents, so far apart that we can't even see each other. He felt so close on Monday morning. How does this happen? How do we drift so far, so fast? "
― Aaron Hartzler , What We Saw
62 " Nothing is exactly as it appears. The closer you look, the more you see. "
63 " Maybe this sense of how fragile our connections are is what makes us obsessed with saving them—writing them down, taking pictures, recording them in tweets, documenting them with status updates and videos. "
64 " To be turned down is a sting that fades away—a scratch that burns, but scabs. You can hypothesize why it didn't work out, gather evidence, and formulate a theory that explains all of the reasons it wasn't right—or simply chalk it up as "never meant to be." After some time, when the scratch heals, it disappears completely. "
65 " You're doing the right thing,' she says.'Doesn't feel like it.' I wipe my eyes. I am so tired of crying.She nods, reading back over her list and flipping to a new page in her steno pad. 'Sometimes, that's how you know,' she says without looking up. 'That's how you know. "
66 " I do remember one thing for certain: Ben, leaning in toward me. So close our foreheads touch. Closer than we've been in a long time.It was different. It was more. More than chivalry. More than playing soccer as kids. More than just friends. The certainty of this is a laser, slicing through the thick fog of too much tequila. I replay the scene. This time I remember how close his lips were to mine.And the hiccups. The first one occurred at exactly that moment, his forehead resting against mine. Any other girl in any other town in any other state on any other sidewalk with any other guyâthat's a sure bet, right? I mean, forehead to forehead? You just close your eyes and lean in.Not me. Nope, one inch from the lips of a guy who's had a few beerson a night when Coral Sands, Iowa, is the center of the universe? Kate Weston comes through with the hiccups. Just the way I roll. "
67 " Running down the hall to Will's room, I blow past our family Wall of Fame. Fifth-grade me leers back from a gallery frame: braces, shin guards, rubbery sports glasses strapped across the wavy hair bursting from my braid in all directions. Over the past few years, my exterior has been transformed by contact lenses and a flat iron, but most days I'm still surprised not to see that little mess in the mirror. "
68 " Ben shot up almost a foot the summer after 6th grade and traded his cleats for high-tops. The promise of Hawkeye basketball has a chokehold on this town, and any boy who crests six feet in 7th grade is drafted without mercy. "
69 " Ben's most rapid and dramatic change had been his height practically overnight, but lots of other changes had been more subtle. In many ways, Ben had grown up right in front of me, only I hadn't been paying attention. "
70 " Dooney and Deacon Mills shuffle down the steps above us. Some people claim the basketball players at our school have an arrogant strut, but Ben says they're all walking that slowly because they're in pain. Coach Sanders kills them with squats in the weight room. "
71 " The girl in this picture is Stacey and she is clearly not giggling. She's only wearing a bra and her tiny black skirt, and she doesn't even look conscious. Her mouth lolls open, eyes closed, arms hang limp. She's bent at the waist, tossed over Deacon's shoulder, his chin resting on her butt, his arm clamped across her upper thighs. "