12
" Hey, I have an idea,” Lex said. “Give me a sec.”
He kept trying. “Idea as in ‘good idea,’ or idea as in ‘let’s take the Ferris wheel, everyone, I’m sure it’ll be a carefree ride of thrills and delights and whimsy’—”
“Does this help?”
Driggs opened his eyes and, in the space of a yoctosecond, popped right into a solid body. Lex half expected to hear a wacky boing sound effect.
She grabbed his arm to keep him that way, while he kept on staring at her bare chest. “So,” he said, swallowing, “good idea, then.”
“Thank you.”
He pulled her close and gave her a kiss. “And thank you for sparing me your devil corset.”
She held it up and waved it in his face. “It’s a standard bra, Driggs. From, like, Target.”
“Satan employs many disguises.”
“Like you’re from the Land of Superior Underwear. Let’s see what sort of designer boxers you’ve chosen to grace my presence with today.” She unzipped his pants and looked. “Dude. Penguins?”
“Um, penguins are officially recognized as the most adorable bird on the planet,” he said, a hint of anxiety creeping into his voice. “What’s wrong with penguins?”
“Nothing—”
“And igloos. See their little igloos?”
“Yes—”
“The Santa hats are a bit much, I’ll give you that, but they were a Christmas present, okay? And if I’d known that I was going to die while wearing them and be forever doomed to their Arctic quirkiness—and of hypothermia, too, how’s that for irony—”
“Driggs,” she interrupted, grabbing his chin and boring her eyes into his. “I thought we were on a tight time frame here.”
“Right.” He scratched his head. “I think that perhaps, since I’m talking way too much, there is the slightest chance that I might be a tiny bit nervous.”
Lex smirked. “Relax, spaz.”
“Oh, no way. You do not get to use that against me. "
― Gina Damico , Rogue (Croak, #3)
13
" Hope there isn’t anyone below us.”
“If so, they’re already asleep. I mean, I’d already be asleep if you weren’t licking my ear. Why are you licking my ear?”
Lex retrieved her tongue. “Because I feel like something awful is going to happen tomorrow. And I’m really hoping it doesn’t involve my grisly demise, or an even grislier demise for you than your last one, but—” She swallowed. “I want this night to be a happy one, because I think they’re going to be in short supply from now on.”
“Yeah, but—” He glanced behind them. “With four friends, one uncle, one Pandora, and a comatose museum curator within hearing range?”
“Good point.” Lex nodded thoughtfully, as if they were debating tax reform. “However: this.” She grabbed his hands and slapped them onto her chest.
His eyes bulged, then met hers. “Compelling rebuttal.”
Lex grinned and dove back into his face while Driggs’s hands reached around her back. “Ah, the over-shoulder boulder holder,” he said in a sneering voice, picking at her bra. “My old nemesis.”
“Okay, don’t panic,” Lex said. “Do it just like we practiced.”
“Right. The hook faces out.”
“The hook faces in.”
“DAMMIT. "
― Gina Damico , Rogue (Croak, #3)
15
" Lex poked Elysia. “The relationship is going well, it seems.”
Elysia’s face erupted with worry. “Oh, Lex, I’m so sorry. It just sort of . . . happened. We were in that hotel for so many days, just waiting around to hear word from Croak, waiting for Mort to figure out a way to rescue you guys. And Wicket and Lazlo not letting us leave, we just went a little stir-crazy and—omigod, I must seem like such a bad friend, and all while you were still stuck in that awful jail and poor Driggs and—”
“Lys,” Lex said, taking her by the shoulders before she could launch into a full-blown monsoon of tears. “It’s fine. I think we’ve all learned a thing or two about taking happiness where you can get it. Plus . . . you know. It’s about time.”
“About time? What do you mean?”
“I mean you two have been itching to get into each other’s pants since the dawn of earth.”
Elysia looked shocked for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know what I’m thinking,” she said, staring back and forth between her mostly uneaten sandwich and Ferbus. “He’s gross. He’s mean. He’s ugly. He’s a lousy drunk, he’s the biggest nerd on the planet, he looks like a leprechaun, his hair is the color of Cheetos—”
“And you luuurve him.”
Elysia scowled and crossed her arms. “And I lurve him. "
― Gina Damico , Rogue (Croak, #3)
16
" Lex?”
“Yes?”
“There’s a bug in your hair.”
“Even better.”
She gave him another quick peck, then looked in the mirror to investigate her hair. “Shit,” she said, her eyes opening wide. “Don’t move.”
“Why, are you sticking to the leather seat? Because I am all kinds of sticking to the leather seat, in places that I didn’t even know about—”
“No. Slightly bigger problem,” she said, still frozen. “Uncle Mort: staring. Us: very naked.”
“Crap.” Driggs tried to wipe his face clean of saliva, though there was a sizable amount. “Think he can see us?”
“He’s not a dinosaur, Driggs. His vision doesn’t depend solely on movement.”
“Okay, you really need to stop basing your entire knowledge of dinosaurs on what you learned in Jurassic Park. "
― Gina Damico , Rogue (Croak, #3)
19
" Heads up!”
He tossed something at Driggs. It looked like a little football. It was shaped like a little football. It was, for all intents and purposes, a little football—except that it was made of gold. Driggs’s eyes went wide at the prospect of dropping a priceless invention to the floor and thereby blowing up the universe or doing something equally undesirable, but he managed to catch it with only the smallest of fumbles.
“Woo!” he hooted in celebration, hoisting it above his head. “Sports!”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Uncle Mort said, stuffing a large compass into his pocket. “Unless you want to kick-start a new bubonic plague. If you want to kick-start a new bubonic plague, then by all means, continue with the excessive celebration.”
Lex just stared at him. “You tossed a potentially plague-starting device at someone who is, at best, intermittently tangible?”
“You need to lighten up a little bit, Lex,” Uncle Mort replied. “If you can’t have fun at the end of the damn world, when can you?”
Lex and Driggs exchanged glances. “I hope you’re kidding.”
“So do I. Hand me that map, would you?”
Lex limply passed him a rolled-up world map. She was beyond trying to understand what was going on. She’d just go where she was pointed. She’d do whatever she was instructed to do. She’d stop asking questions.
“What are we doing?” burst out of her mouth milliseconds later "
― Gina Damico , Rogue (Croak, #3)
