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You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery QUOTES

You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery QUOTES

1 " We are always growing up. I'm growing up as I type this. An eighty-seven-year-old woman is still technically growing up. So be as immature as you want. Right now, you are the youngest you you're ever going to be. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

2 " The waterfall, while scary, would've released us. The panic attack will also release you. Just relax, and don't feel weird about being vocal about your feelings. ... Just breathe, And if possible, drink the nearest thing to you. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

3 " Sunsets are the photography equivalent of people telling you what they dreamt. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

4 " Friends should be like a good bra, lifting you up. Bad friends are like sports bras. They can do wonders when you go out dancing or during high-energy times, but one a day-to-day basis they really just smush down some of your greatest assets. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

5 " When the apocalypse comes, it won’t just be cockroaches that survive. It will also be herpes and that random bottle of crème de menthe you bought years ago. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

6 " Like every other tiny-ass town in the South, there were plenty of crappy Mexican restaurants to choose from. Not fancy Mexican like I eat in L.A. When I eat Mexican food in L.A., it’s like a kale salad with pepitas and soy beef tacos with fresh pico de gallo. In NC, it’s a five-dollar plate of cheese enchiladas with refried beans and a bowl of melted white cheese dip. Essentially you just walk in and ask for a plate of brown with a little iceberg lettuce, and it’s fucking delish. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

7 " I spent my days spread-eagle in front of a fan, with bright pink calamine lotion slathered all over my undercarriage. If you walked into my room, you’d think I was giving birth to a Pepto-Bismol baby. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

8 " These days if I ate three bites of a Blizzard, that Blizzard would turn into a tornado of farts. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

9 " I distinctly remember being a fifth-grader and lying in bed at three a.m. thinking, I am the only kid awake in the world. The insomnia feeds the anxiety, the anxiety feeds the insomnia, and my night would become a human centipede of sleeplessness. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

10 " I inevitably felt like a fetus with eyeliner in comparison. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

11 " Don’t readjust your contacts. No, that is not the slow hyena from The Lion King. That is my four-pound best friend. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

12 " One humid summer night in Austin, Texas, Mamrie Hart and I spent an hour drunkenly arguing and openly crying on the street while wearing David Bowie– and Tina Turner–inspired wigs, butterfly eyelashes, and KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD tie-dyed T-shirts. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

13 " Everyone looks better when they have a little sun kiss to them, right? Spoiler alert: I have never looked sun kissed. Ever. I’ve looked sun sexually assaulted before, but never kissed. I’m either white as a ghost or lobster red. Totally solar bipolar. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

14 " That's the thing- with that summer and hard times in general, you've gotta take the salty with the sweet. It's always a balance. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery

15 " (On Panic Attacks) And once I had my first one with Maegan, they crept up about once a month. And without warning. It was worse than getting my period. In fact, I called it my exclamation point. "

― Mamrie Hart , You Deserve a Drink: Boozy Misadventures and Tales of Debauchery