7
" In youth, the powers of the mind are directed wholly to the future, and that future assumes such various, vivid, and alluring forms under the influence of hope; hope based, not upon the experience of the past, but upon an assumed possibility of happiness to come, that dreams of expected felicity constitute in themselves the true happiness of that period of our life. Only God Himself knows whether those blessed dreams of youth were ridiculous, or whose the fault was that they never became realized. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
8
" Before and after the funeral I never ceased to cry and be miserable, but it makes me ashamed when I think back on that sadness of mine, seeing that always in it was an element of self-love - now a desire to show that I prayed more than any one else, now concern about the impression I was producing on others, now an aimless curiosity which caused me to observe Mimi's cap or the faces of those around me. I despised myself for not experiencing sorrow to the exclusion of everything else, and I tried to conceal all other feelings: this made my grief insincere and unnatural. Moreover, I felt a kind of enjoyment in knowing that I was unhappy and I tried to stimulate my sense of unhappiness, and this interest in myself did more than anything else to stifle real sorrow in me. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
9
" Yes, it was real hatred - not the hatred we only read about in novels, which I do not believe in, hatred that is supposed to find satisfaction in doing some one harm - but the hatred that fills you with overpowering aversion for a person who, however, deserves your respect, yet whose hair, his neck, the way he walks, the sound of his voice, his whole person, his every gesture are repulsive to you, and at the same time some unaccountable force draws you to him and compels you to follow his slightest acts with uneasy attention. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
10
" There are moments when the future looks so black that one is afraid to let one's thoughts dwell on it, refuses to let one's mind function and tries to convince oneself that the future will not be, and the past has not been. At such moments, when the will is not governed or modified by reflection and the only incentives that remain in life are our physical instincts, I can understand how a child, being particularly prone owing to lack of experience to fall into such a state, may without the least hesitation or fear, with a smile of curiosity deliberately set fire to his own house - and then fan the flames where is brothers, his father an his mother, all of who he loves dearly, are sleeping. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
18
" Has it ever befallen you, my readers, to become suddenly aware that your conception of things has altered -- as though every object in life had unexpectedly turned a side towards you of which you had hitherto remained unaware? Such a species of moral change occurred, as regards myself, during this journey, and therefore from it I date the beginning of my boyhood. For the first time in my life, I then envisaged the idea that we -- i.e. our family were not the only persons in the world; that not every conceivable interest was centered in ourselves; and that there existed numbers of people who had nothing in common with us, cared nothing for us, and even knew nothing of our existence. No doubt I had known all this before -- only I had not known it then as I know it now; I had never properly felt or understood it. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
19
" When Mama smiled, as fine as her face was, it was made incomparably better, and everything around seemed more cheerful. If in the difficult moments of my life I could have had just a glimpse of that smile, I would never have known the meaning of sorrow. It seems to me that what is called beauty in a face lies entirely in the smile: if it adds charm to the face, the face is beautiful; if it leaves the face unchanged, the face is plain; and if it spoils the face, the face is ugly. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
20
" Et j'étais toujours seul, et j'avais toujours l'impression que la nature mystérieusement imposante, le cercle lumineux et attirant de la lune, qui s'était immobilisé, Dieu sait pourquoi, en un point indéfini et élevé de ce ciel bleu pâle, mais qui en même temps était partout et semblait remplir tout l'immense espace et moi, infime vermisseau déjà souillé de toutes les misérables et mesquines passions humaines, mais doué d'une faculté d'aimer illimitée et puissante, j'avais toujours l'impression à ces moments-là que la nature, la lune et moi, nous ne faisions qu'un. "
― Leo Tolstoy , Childhood, Boyhood, Youth
