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Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4) QUOTES

Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4) QUOTES

1 " HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death) "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

2 " Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

3 " And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

4 " You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
'What if she cuts herself?'
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

5 " OH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING IN THE STOCKING THAT MAKES A NOISE, said Death. OTHERWISE, WHAT IS 4:30 A.M. FOR? "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

6 " Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

7 " There is always time for another last minute "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

8 " Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

9 " NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?
Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

10 " Dullness. Only humans could have invented it. What imaginations they had. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

11 " Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. and yet... and yet you act as if there is some ideal order in the world, as if there is some... some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

12 " Then the Dean repeated the mantra that has had such a marked effect on the progress of knowledge throughout the ages.
“Why don’t we just mix up absolutely everything and see what happens?” he said.
And Ridcully responded with the traditional response.
“It’s got to be worth a try,” he said. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

13 " It's supposed to be jolly, with mistletoe and holly... and other things ending in olly. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

14 " Time and space were, from Death's point of view, merely things that he'd heard described. When it came to Death, they ticked the box marked Not Applicable. It might help to think of the universe as a rubber sheet, or perhaps not. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

15 " Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter! "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

16 " I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU.
She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on.
'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'
ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.
'Oh ...'
THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON.
'Ah...'
IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.
'Really ...?'
IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

17 " The Auditors fluttered anxiously. And, as always happens in their species when something goes radically wrong and needs fixing instantly, they settled down to try to work how who was to blame. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

18 " DO I DETECT A NOTE OF UNSEASONAL GRUMPINESS? said Death. NO SUGAR PIGGYWIGGY FOR YOU, ALBERT. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

19 " They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you? "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

20 " It was nice to hear the voices of little children at play, provided you took care to be far enough away not to hear what they were actually saying. "

― Terry Pratchett , Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)