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81 " But I love you," Trixie said. There was no easy switch that she could flip to stem the flow of feelings, no way to drain the memories that pooled like acid in her stomach because her heart no longer knew what to do with them. She couldn't blame Jason; she didn't like herself like this, either. But she couldn't go back to being the girl she'd been before she met him; that girl was gone. So where did that leave her? "
― Jodi Picoult , The Tenth Circle
82 " She didn't like herself like this, either. But she couldn't go back to being the girl she'd been before she met him; that girl was gone. So where did that leave her? "
83 " It was possible that a miracle was not something that happened to you, but rather something that didn’t. "
84 " If it's us", she whispered, "how come you get to decide?"When he didn't answer - couldn't answer - she turned and stared out the front window. As it turned out, they were still in the parking lot.They hadn't gotten anywhere at all. "
85 " Crazy girls did this, girls who walked like zombies through YA novels.But.Trixie felt the sting of the skin as it split, the sweet welling rise of blood.It hurt, though not as much as everything else idd. "
86 " How do you do it?""Do what?""All of it. You know. Go to class and practice. Make it through the day. Act like ... like none if it mattered."Jason swore beneath his breath and pulled the car over. Then he reached across the seat and brushed his thumb over her cheek; until then, she hadn't been aware she was crying. "Trix," he sighed, "it mattered. "
87 " She knew all sorts of four letter words now; they just weren't the ones that most people considered foul language.Love.Help.Rape.Stop.Then. "
88 " How are you going to know who I am, she finally said, if I dont look like me? "
89 " Your child is hurt. How quickly can you make it better?What if you can't? "
90 " She'd take these random occurrences and elevate them to oracles; she'd pretend that they were enough to justify her actions.Or lack therof. "
91 " She wondered how big the world was, really, when you crossed it, instead of traced it with your finger on the map. "
92 " Trixie seesawed between wishing everyone would leave her alone and wondering why everyone treated her like a leper. "
93 " When you die, you don't get to catch snowflakes on your tongue. You don't get to breathe winter in, deep in your lungs. You can't lie in bed and watch for the lights of the passing town plow. You can't suck on an icicle until your forehead hurts. "
94 " It was like a trapeze act: How could you really tell at what second the acrobat pushed away, at what moment the anchor let go? You couldn't, and that was that. You and your deductions from the outcomeL a successful landing or a spiraling fall. "
95 " A human heart breaks harder when it’s dropped from a greater height. "
96 " It was that she truly believed you could be fourteen when you learned how love could change the speed your blood ran through you, how it made you dream in kaleidoscope color. It was that Trixie knew she couldn't have loved Jason this hard if he hadn't loved her that way too. "
97 " Betrayal was a stone beneath the mattress of the bed you shared, something you felt digging into you no matter how you shifted position. "What was the point of being able to forgive, when deep down, you both had to admit you'd never forget? "
98 " Sometimes, ridiculously, the more perfect he was the angrier she got, as if his generosity existed only to highlight her own selfishness. "
99 " They both knew that jealousy could rise like a tide, erasing events that had been scratched into the shore of your memory. "
100 " Trixie could feel the weight of her father's worry. Who knew that the words you never got around to saying could settle so heavy? Suddenly, she remembered a blown-glass candy dish she had broken when she was 11, an heirloom that had belonged to her mother's grandmother.She had gathered all the pieces and had glued them together seamlessl and she still hadn't been able to fool her mother. She imagined the same would be true, now, of herself. "