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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior QUOTES

Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior QUOTES

1 " Every time we decide to use our power to influence others, particularly if we`re gleeful and hasty, we damage the relationship. We move from enjoying a healthy partnership based on trust and mutual respect to establishing a police state that requires constant monitoring. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

2 " We’re asking you to undo years of practice, maybe even eons of genetic shaping that prod you to take flight or pick a fight (when under attack), and recode the stimulus. “Ah, that’s a sign that the other person feels unsafe.” And then what? Do something to make it safe. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

3 " If you can be respectful and private but firm in this conversation, most problem behavior will stop. And remember, if the behavior is over the line, you shouldn’t hesitate to contact HR to ensure your rights and dignity are protected. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

4 " Rather than move to compromise or fight for her way, Yvonne will step out of the issue and CRIB to get to Mutual Purpose. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

5 " If the story is unflattering and the feeling is anger, adrenaline kicks in. Under the influence of adrenaline, blood leaves our brains to help support our genetically engineered response of “fight or flight,” and we end up thinking with the brain of a reptile. We say and do dim-witted things. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

6 " When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open. That’s it. At the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information. People openly and honestly express their opinions, share their feelings, and articulate their theories. They willingly and capably share their views, even when their ideas are controversial or unpopular. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

7 " By releasing your grip on your strategy and focusing on your real purpose, you’re now open to the idea that you might actually find alternatives that can serve both of your interests. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

8 " consequence of the original act and helps unbundle the problem. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

9 " When we first trained people to deal with ability problems, it all seemed so simple. You ask others for their ideas, you get to hear their best thoughts, and they feel empowered. What could be easier? Who could possibly mess this up? As it turns out, there are several ways to go wrong. Here are the top three things not to do. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

10 " Maybe we honor the abusive style of so many coaches and other public figures because their public actions lend credibility to our own private outbursts. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

11 " Provide individuals who have been disappointed or poorly treated with something to say and a way to say it that leads to the result they want, and their mental math changes. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

12 " When you’ve gone to silence and are trying way too hard to convince yourself that you’ve done the right thing, you might want to examine whether you are intentionally minimizing the cost of not speaking up and exaggerating the risks of doing so. "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

13 " BUT WILL IT WORK FOR ME? After decades of tireless research, we have now identified about two-dozen accountability skills that, when used at the right time and delivered in the right fashion, separated positive deviants from everyone else. The questions remaining were (1) when taught, would people actually use the skills, and (2) if they did, would doing so yield better results? "

― , Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior