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Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1) QUOTES

Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1) QUOTES

61 " Granted, she was obviously one window lick away from riding the short bus, but that knowledge did nothing to ease my mind. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

62 " I should just open the car door and throw her out of the moving vehicle for what she did to me tonight, but I didn't want to ruin someone else's car if they ran her over. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

63 " Sometimes you have to learn to love the little mo stars for something other than a tax deductions they provide you" ~Claire
Seductions & Snacks "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

64 " First of all, you're going to talk to her and get the whole story. I know you're in shock but sitting around here all day fingering your va**na isn't going to make anything better. So man-up. Go talk to her. You spent all these years trying to find her and here she is, right in front of you. So she's got a little baggage. Who doesn't?"

"A little baggage? Drew, she has a son. That's more than a little baggage," I complained.

"Wake up and look in the mirror baby-daddy. He's your son too. And you spent the last few years trying to f**k her out of your system with some chick you could barely stand. That's not just baggage, that's luggage, bags, suitcases, carry-ons, back-packs and Clinique make-up bags. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

65 " Jim, please tell me you know some hot girls," Drew begged.

He let out a chuckle. "You might be in luck boys; my fiancé has a few single friends."

"Don't worry about the pu**y here to the right of me," Drew said while Jim took a drink of his bottled water. "He's been hung up on a one-night-stand he had five years ago with a girl that smelled like Cocoa Puffs. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

66 " Wow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the fuck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep with a blow-up doll?  Again? "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

67 " Every day I told him if he ruined my va**na I would video tape his birth and show all his future girlfriends what happened to your who-ha when you had sex, ensuring that he will never, ever get laid. Fuck playing Mozart and reading Shakespeare. I went with the scared straight method. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

68 " Oh shut your yap. You know the Fosters could care less if you drink while you're on the job. You're like the daughter they never had."

Those eyes. There was something about them that made it impossible for me to look away.

"Liz, the Fosters have a daughter."

"Patty plays softball and can bench press two hundred and fifty pounds. Her dick is probably bigger than this guy's," she said, hooking her thumb towards Drew. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

69 " I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

70 " I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to him like a present with a nice card that says “Thank you for being you!  Just a little virginity to show you my gratitude! "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

71 " I never intended to be away from school that long, but I also never intended on a baby completely fucking up my life.  Er, I mean, bringing me years of great joy. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

72 " Even though I was drunk as a skunk at the time, I still remembered what happened after that. Less than two seconds later he was inside me and I was waving good-bye to my virginity. I wanted it to last forever. I saw stars, came three times that night and it was the most beautiful experience of my life.
Yeah right. Are you kidding me? Have you lost your virginity lately? It hurts like a mother effer and it's awkward and messy. Anyone that tells you she had anything even close to resembling an orgasm during the actual event itself is a lying sack of shit. The only stars I saw were the ones behind my eyelids as I squeezed them shut and waited for it to be over. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

73 " My ears perked up like a dog’s again when she spoke and pointed in the general direction of the chick that smelled of Slim Jims.
I hope I don't start barking.
"Oh, please, like she doesn't know about the smell of meat products wafting from her lady parts. I think she rubs bologna down there to attract men. Lunch meat is her sex pheromone."
The brunette shook her head in irritation. "If I do a shot, will you please stop talking about Jade's disgusting vagina and never, ever use the word meat product in a sentence?"
"Woof!"
Three sets of eyes all turned to look at me.
"Did I just bark out loud?"
Three heads bobbed up and down in unison. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

74 " I had an undeniable urge to grab onto him and never let him go, to protect him from anything bad that might come his way and to shelter him from scary things like the boogey man and clowns.               Shut up, clowns are scary as fuck. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

75 " He cries himself to sleep at night on his huge pilluh."

"That thing’s like Spootnik. It's got its own weather system."

"It's like an orange on a toothpick."

I think he heard me talking about him to the nurses and formulated a plan to get back at me. I firmly believe at night in the nursery he and all the other newborns struck up a conversation and decided it was time for a revolution. Viva la newborns! "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

76 " Thank you so much, baby. I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic," she told me drunkenly. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

77 " Sometimes you have to do it slow and gentle, and other times you have to do it hard and fast."               Sweet baby innuendos, Batman.               "What time do you get off?"               In about ten seconds.               "Not until one. I have to close by myself tonight, "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

78 " If you spelled George Morgan wrong on Google it didn't say, "Did you mean George Morgan?" It simply replied, "Run while you still have the chance. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

79 " Finding Nemo," Gavin mumbled.               We watched the movie in silence for a few minutes and I felt like a kid again as I enjoyed the happenings on the screen. It had been a long while since I watched a cartoon.               "Holy shit, did they just kill off that fish's wife?" I blurted in shock.               "Yep," Gavin replied. "That big, mean fish ated her."               He said it so calmly - like it was no big deal that a sweet, loving cartoon fish just got murdered. What the fuck was wrong with this movie? This couldn't be appropriate for kids. I didn't think it was appropriate for me. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)

80 " Dude, he put ass cream on
his face. You do know I’m going to
have to start calling your son Ass
Face now, right?”
Gavin: “Shut up, dicky.”
Drew: “You shut up. You’re the one
with the ass face. "

― Tara Sivec , Seduction and Snacks (Chocolate Lovers, #1)