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1 " It has been said that alcohol is a good servant and a bad master. Nice try. The plain fact is that it makes other people, and indeed life itself, a good deal less boring. "
― Kingsley Amis , Everyday Drinking
2 " With alcoholic ritual, the whole point is generosity. If you open a bottle of wine, for heaven's sake have the grace to throw away the damn cork. "
3 " I'll pour you the first one and after that, if you don't have one, it's your own f****** fault. You know where it is. "
4 " Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life, a mark of the naive - or worse. "
5 " If you don't state a clear preference, then your drink is like a bad game of poker or a hasty drug transaction: It is whatever the dealer says it is. Please do try to bear this in mind. "
6 " Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life, a mark of the naive-or worse. "
7 " If you want to finish the evening with your usual number of fingers, do any cutting-up, peel-slicing and the like before you have had more than a couple of drinks, preferably before your first. "
8 " Wives and such are constantly filling up any refrigerator they have a claim on, even its ice-compartment, with irrelevant rubbish like food. "
9 " Beware of curiously shaped or oddly-got-up bottles: you are likely to be paying for the parcel rather than what is wrapped up in it. "
10 " If you want to behave better and feel better, the only absolutely certain method is drinking less. But to find out how to do that, you will have to find a more expert expert than I shall ever be. "
11 " There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn. —SAMUEL JOHNSON "
12 " Up to a point go for quantity rather than quality. Most people would rather have two glasses of ordinary decent port than one of a rare vintage. "
13 " With all respect to James Bond, a martini should be stirred, not shaken. "
