Home > Work > The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
21 " Sometimes if we go deep enough into our pain, it changes into something else. "
― Ellen Bass , The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
22 " Receiving feels wonderful once you get used to it. But first you must acknowledge how scary it is to be open. If, as a child you were left to fend for yourself or there were strings attached to getting what you needed, you learned that nurturing was either unavailable or unsafe. But now, receiving doesn’t have to mean owing something back. Start asking for at least one thing you want every day. "
23 " One woman was sure that her father would appear on her front steps and try to kill her. In actuality, he hid from her after that, avoiding her totally. He was scared of her. You may not realize it, but you hold a lot of power when you tell the truth. "
24 " A dread that something bad was waiting for me has followed me most of my life. I have a morbid fear of the dark. I will never close my eyes in the shower. There are parts of my own house I am just beginning to go into. "
25 " Healing from child sexual abuse takes commitment and dedication. But if you are willing to work hard, if you are determined to make lasting changes in your life, if you are able to find good resources and skilled support, you can not only heal but also thrive. "
26 " Notice your breathing. . . . There is nothing you need to do to change it, just simply watch and be aware. . . . Notice the sensation of your breath as it comes in through your nose, the way it travels down through the trachea and fills the lungs. . . . How the rib cage expands as you breathe in, how the back widens. . . . Notice your breath as you breathe out—how your body softens and empties, letting go. . . . Breathing in new oxygen that nourishes and fills you, breathing out what is no longer nourishing or needed. . . . Notice how the breath returns all on its own. . . . Take a minute to watch several complete rounds of breath. . . . Breathing in, breathing out, and the return. . . . "
27 " Use excessive work or "
28 " Often survivors ask Laura how far along they are in the healing process, and her response to them is always the same. She asks them, "What are you doing to take care of yourself?" This is a better indicator of healing than how much therapy you've had, how many tears you've cried, or how many people you've told your incest story to.Ask yourself: Am I gentle with myself when I make a mistake? Can I relax and take breaks from the intensity of healing? Am I able to do things I enjoy? Am I getting enough sleep and eating healthy food? Am I part of a community of people who love and support one another? Can I recognize the things that are going well in my life? Are there things I'm doing that I feel proud of? When you can answer yes to most of these questions or are making progress in that direction, you're well on your way to healing. However, if you are at the very beginning of the healing process, you may not be able to say yes to a single question. "
29 " Our bodies are our essential connection to life. "