131
" I am alone, Virginia thinks, as the man and woman continue up the hill and she continues down. She is, of course, not alone, not in a way anyone else would recognize, and yet at this moment, walking through wind toward the lights of the Quadrant, she can feel the nearness of the old devil (what else to call it?), and she knows she will be utterly alone if and when the devil chooses to appear again. The devil is a headache; the devil is a voice inside a wall; the devil is a fin breaking through dark waves. The devil is the brief, twittering nothing that was a thrush’s life. The devil sucks all the beauty from the world, all the hope, and what remains when the devil has finished is a realm of the living dead—joyless, suffocating. Virginia feels, right now, a certain tragic grandeur, for the devil is many things but he is not petty, not sentimental; he seethes with a lethal, intolerable truth. Right now, walking, free of her headache, free of the voices, she can face the devil, but she must keep walking, she must not turn back. "
― Michael Cunningham , The Hours
132
" Yes, Clarissa thinks, it’s time for the day to be over. We throw our parties; we abandon our families to live alone in Canada; we struggle to write books that do not change the world, despite our gifts and our unstinting efforts, our most extravagant hopes. We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep—it’s as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we’re very fortunate, by time itself. There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more. "
― Michael Cunningham , The Hours
135
" Questa è una delle esperienze più singolari: svegliarsi in quello che sembra un buon giorno, prepararsi al lavoro, ma non cominciarlo ancora veramente. Questo momento racchiude infinite possibilità, intere ore a venire. La mente ronza. Questa mattina può penetrare la foschia, i condotti intasati, raggiungere l'oro. Riesce a sentirlo dentro di sé, una seconda se stessa indescrivibile, o piuttosto una se stessa parallela, più pura. Se fosse religiosa la chiamerebbe "l'anima". E' più della somma del suo intelletto e delle sue emozioni, più della somma delle sue esperienze, anche se corre attraverso tutte e tre come vene di metallo brillante. E' una facoltà interiore che riconosce i misteri che animano il mondo, perché è fatta della stessa sostanza, e quando è molto fortunata lei è capace di scrivere attingendo direttamente da quella facoltà. Scrivere in quello stato è la soddisfazione più profonda che conosca. Ma la sua capacità di accedervi va e viene senza preavviso. Può impugnare la penna e seguirla con la mano mentre si muove per il foglio; può impugnare la penna e scoprire che è solo lei: una donna in vestaglia che regge una penna, timorosa e incerta, con una competenza solo superficiale e nessuna idea su dove cominciare o cosa scrivere.
Impugna la penna.
La signora Dalloway disse che avrebbe comprato lei i fiori. "
― Michael Cunningham , The Hours
138
" Oh, pride, pride. I was so wrong. It defeated me. It simply proved insurmountable. There was so much, oh, far too much for me. I mean, there's the weather, there's the water and the land, there are the animals, and the buildings, and the past and the future, there's space, there's history. There's this thread or something caught between my teeth, there's the old woman across the way, did you notice she switched the donkey and the squirrel on her windowsill? And, of course, there's time. And place. And there's you, Mrs. D. I wanted to tell part of the story of part of you. Oh, I'd love to have done that."
"Richard. You wrote a whole book."
"But everything's left out of it, almost everything. And then I just stuck on a shock ending. Oh, now, I'm not looking for sympathy, really. We want so much, don't we?"
"Yes. I suppose we do."
"You kissed me beside a pond."
"Ten thousand years ago."
"It's still happening. "
― Michael Cunningham , The Hours
140
" This is one of the most singular experiences, waking on what feels like a good day, preparing to work but not yet actually embarked. At this moment there are infinite possibilities, whole hours ahead. Her mind hums. This morning she may penetrate the obfuscation, the clogged pipes, to reach the gold. She can feel it inside her, an all but describable second self, or rather a parallel, purer self. If she were religious, she would call it the soul. It is more than the sum of her intellect and her emotions, more than the sum of her experiences, though it runs like veins of brilliant metal through all three. It is an inner faculty that recognizes the animating mysteries of the world because it is made of the same substance, and when she is very fortunate she is able to write directly through that faculty. Writing in that state is the most profound satisfaction she knows, but her access to it comes and goes without warning. she may pick up her pen and follow it with her hand as it moves across the paper; she may pick up her pen and find that she’s merely herself, a woman in a housecoat holding a pen, afraid and uncertain, only mildly competent, with no idea about where to begin or what to write.
She picks up her pen.
Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself. "
― Michael Cunningham , The Hours