Home > Work > Carry the Ocean (The Roosevelt, #1)
1 " HERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE of why it's wrong to say autistic people don't feel emotions. I felt very emotional about David, but usually I could make modifications so I didn't have to let my emotions take over. Thought I yelled and hit him, I still kept most of my feelings to myself, until I went to my room and could let them out. It's not nice for people to say I'm unemotional because I'm better than they are at management. "
― Heidi Cullinan , Carry the Ocean (The Roosevelt, #1)
2 " I tried to think. How did Jeremy usually feel? "Nervous, maybe." I brightened. "Yes—nervous. Not a guess.""Jeremy is that correct?""Yes, mostly.""Excellent. Good job, Emmet. Can you tell us how you knew?"I smiled a big smile, proud I'd gotten it right. "Because of his hands. His face is too complicated for me to tell what he's feeling, but he keeps fidgeting his hands. That's like when I want to flap. It's kind of the same thing, except hand-flaps are bigger and make people stare at me. "
3 " I can't read faces the way people without autism can. I can't see a face and know if someone is happy or sad. Which is bad because people assume that I can, and they get angry when I don't understand how they feel.""Do you care how other people feel?""Yes, but I don't always remember to check for it. Sometimes I'm busy worrying about my own feelings and I forget. "
4 " He doesn't have autism. His spine is broken, but his brain is fine.""So is yours," I whispered. "
5 " When you have an invisible disease, your sickness isn’t your biggest problem. What you end up battling more than anything else, every single day, is other people. "
6 " sometimes I feel like everyone else is carrying a bucket of water but I’m trying to carry an ocean. its very hard. sometimes I would rather not carry my ocean, even if it meant I couldn’t be alive. "
7 " Frankly, I’m awesome, and anybody who doesn’t agree should get out of my way. "
8 " No one is normal. Normal is a lie. "
9 " Depression is having a crowd of dementors live in your head twenty-four/seven. "
10 " I am normal. I belong. I have a friend who can kick ass from a wheelchair. I live independently and get good grades. I'm an excellent lover.Like I said. I'm awesome. I'm Emmet David Washington. Train Man. The best autistic Blues Brother on the block. "
11 " Remember having a panic attack isn’t a failure, and not having one isn’t a success. Success is not letting the attacks run your life "
12 " That's my ocean. I have to pretend as best I can to be like people on the mean so people don't call me a robot. I'm not a robot. I'm real and I have feelings the same as everyone else. And I want a boyfriend. Except my ocean doesn't make me want to be dead. It makes me want to fight. I want you to fight too, Jeremey. I want us to carry our oceans together. "
13 " my emotions feel loud and big. its hard for me to keep hold of them. they weigh me down. make me heavy and tired and overwhelmed. sometimes I feel like everyone else is carrying a bucket of water but I’m trying to carry an ocean. its very hard. sometimes I would rather not carry my ocean, even if it meant I couldn’t be alive. "
14 " Sometimes I liked him for his smile. Sometimes I liked him because he didn’t smile. Sometimes I got an erection because of the way he brushed his hair away from his face. It didn’t matter to my brain that these were odd reasons to care for someone. My brain, my body, my everything wanted to be Jeremey’s boyfriend. "
15 " People are good medicine, but they can’t be your foundation of functionality. You must build that yourself. "
16 " I really am Super Emmet, and like the comic book Superman, I have a powerful secret weapon. My mom. "
17 " It’s like Elwood Blues says: everybody needs somebody to love. I’m an everybody. I get a somebody. "
18 " I don’t think people understand about suicidal thoughts. They act as if everyone who makes an attempt is looking for attention. "
19 " There is no normal, not really. Not a right and a wrong way to be. But there is belonging. That day in Bohemia with Jeremey and David and the girls, I belonged. I belonged as much as anybody on the mean. Maybe even a little bit more. "
20 " There is no normal. There is not an invisible bar you must meet to be acceptable to society. "