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1 " JIM. Still, it was a dreadful shame about old Cary, wasn't it?NIGEL. Terrible shame; he missed the only good party Margaret ever threw. "
― Allie Ray , The Last Will and Testament
2 " MARGARET. Perhaps I have lost my mind, Anne. It's the only thing I have left to lose, you know. Cary's gone and died and left me with nothing, not even my dignity. "
3 " NIGEL. "How's this for communism." Ha! And what sort of communism was that, Jim? Certainly not Marxist-Leninist.JIM. Oh, didn't you recognize it? That was Stalinism, my good man. "
4 " NIGEL. Alright, Comrade Semyenov. Make your case. What, in your "expert" opinion, makes this manuscript a fraud?IGOR. I could give you any number of reasons, from the red being wrong to the paper being too thin. Or point out the fact that no one would sell a Rembrandt the size of that wall before a scrap of manuscript no bigger than this. But perhaps most compelling is that it is almost midnight and I am just as eager as anyone else to get out of this place, and I would not throw away such an opportunity just to start an argument about counterfeits with you!NIGEL. Very well. You've convinced me. "
5 " DOLLY. But can you imagine, a thing like that? Looking down at a sweet little newborn baby, all chubby and pink, and going, "Yep, no doubt about it. He's an Igor all right. "
6 " DOLLY. You know, my father offered me five hundred dollars not to marry you!IGOR. Why did he offer you the money? I would have not married you for twenty dollars and a pack of Lucky Strikes. "
7 " NIGEL. Great Scott. How is it the two of you ever came to be married?DOLLY. Jeeze, um...We met only this one time at a party, and I thought I was, you know, late. And my ma said I wasn't gonna have no fatherless baby, so she made us get married. Only a couple weeks later it turned out to be a false alarm.IGOR. One of the great love stories of our time. "
8 " MARGARET. Then any and everything in this house is mine, or will be eventually. ANNE. Over my dead body!NIGEL. I believe that's precisely what she said. "
9 " NIGEL. Oh, come now. It's not really communism.DOLLY. Don't encourage him!IGOR. How is it not communism? It isn't capitalism--GRIMM. It isn't even economics. "
10 " JIM. How's this for communism? If you don't dance with that splendid old lady, I'll knock your bloody block off! "
11 " JIM. Mr. Blathdigger is no longer the Willoughby accountant. I presume he had a thing or two to say about that, but...who could hear him? "