45
" Down in the valley, valley so low
Hang your head over, hear the wind blow
Hear the wind blow, love, hear the wind blow
Hang your head over, hear the wind blow”
“Roses love sunshine, violets love dew
Angels in heaven know I love you
Know I love you, love, know I love you
Angels in heaven know I love you.”
Write me a letter, send it by mail
Send it in care of the Birmingham jail
Birmingham jail, love, Birmingham jail
Send it in care of the Birmingham jail.”
Build me a castle, forty feet high
So I can see her as she rides by
As she rides by, dear, as she rides by
So I can see her as she rides by "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
48
" William climbed into the car, and just before he shut the door, Bonnie asked him if she could borrow his cardboard sign, just for a second. He acquiesced, obviously, because Bonnie Rae grabbed it as William pulled the door closed, and then she held it over the roof of the car, showing Finn, who still stood next to the driver’s side door. Bonnie’s eyes were almost as wide and crazy as George Orrin Dillinger’s. She pointed at the words on the sign fiercely, not speaking.
I Believe in Bonnie and Clyde the sign read. Finn read it again, and then again, not sure what to make of it. Then he looked at Bonnie and shrugged.
“So?”
“So?” she hissed. “It’s a sign!”
“Yeah. It is. A cardboard sign.”
“Finn! It has our names on it!”
“Names which happen to be the same names as a very well-known pair. He could have written ‘I believe in Sonny and Cher’ or ‘Beavis and Butthead’ or ‘peanut butter and jelly.’”
Bonnie looked a little crestfallen. He’d taken the magic out of the moment. He was good at that.
“And now we have a smelly guy named William with the initials, G.O.D. in our backseat. And I’m not happy about it, Bonnie Rae.”
“His initials are G.O.D!” Bonnie’s eyes were seriously going to pop out of her skull. The magic was back. Finn moaned and then started laughing, once again not even sure how any of this could possibly be real. He even pinched himself, just to make sure he’d actually woken up this morning to a pop star in his arms, a Bear on his front steps, and now, God in his backseat "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
49
" Bonnie Rae, you’ve got a visitor downstairs. And if you don’t show your face right away, he’s going to kill me. And it won’t be a quick death. It will be a mauling. Do you understand?”
“Huh?”
“Bear’s here, and he’s loaded for . . . well, bear.”
“Bear’s here?” she shot straight up in bed, immediately awake, and made for the door, bare legs flying, oversized T-shirt slipping off her slim shoulders.
“Bonnie!” She halted and turned in question. “If you want me to live, pull on some pants and do something with your hair. Please. "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
50
" It’s midnight. I figure it will get light about six or seven, right? We can’t just run the Blazer all night.” He paused as if he didn’t quite know what to say next. He ran his hand down his face, and I suddenly felt like laughing from sheer helplessness. I bit my lip hard, the inappropriate giggle perched at the back of my throat just waiting to jump out. I really was crazy.
"I have a sleeping bag and two pillows, plus those three old blankets. It’s going to get cold when we turn off the Blazer.” Finn stopped again, as if he were uncomfortable, and the giggle escaped through my clenched lips.
“Are you laughing?”
“No.”
“You are. Here I am feeling like a dirty old man because I’m about to suggest that we make a bed and cuddle up to keep warm, and you are laughing.”
“You were going to suggest we . . . cuddle?” My shock immediately cured the giggling problem.
Finn ran both hands over his face, scrubbing at it like he wanted to erase what he’d just said.
“Okay,” I said in a tiny voice. He looked at me in surprise, and I couldn’t help it. I smiled. A big, wide, you-are-my-sunshine smile.
“You do realize we’re in trouble here, right?” Finn shook his head like he doubted my sense, but a smile teetered around the corners of his mouth. “This isn’t a slumber party with your girlfriends and trips to the fridge for snacks.”
“Hey, Clyde?”
“Yeah, Bonnie?”
“You will have officially slept with Bonnie Rae Shelby after tonight. You aren’t going to ask me to sign an autograph, are you? Maybe sign your hiney in permanent marker so you can take a picture and sell it to US Weekly?”
“Got a little ego, there, huh?”
I dove over the seat into the back, laughing. “Dibs on the pillow with a pillow case! "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
55
" Toward the final hallway, we found an attraction that hadn’t been there in previous years. Or maybe in other years we were more innocent and less observant, more eager to run to the next delight. Whatever the reason, as we neared the exit we were caught between two giant mirrors that faced each other, reflecting the image between them back and forth ad infinitum.
We had dressed alike as we often did, or as often as cheap clothing and Goodwill bags would allow. We had on pale colored shorts and plain pink T’s, our heads covered with the fluorescent green bandanas we’d purchased, and flip flops on our feet. I was browner and a little heavier than Minnie—the chemo made her more susceptible to sunburn and killed her appetite, but other than that, we were still identical.
Minnie and I stared at the rows of twins that had no end, one behind another in smaller and smaller replicas of the original. Bonnie and Minnie forever . . . and ever and ever. I reached for Minnie’s hand, and all our reflections joined hands as well, making the hair rise on my neck. Maybe it should have been comforting, the thought of the two of us going on forever, but it wasn’t.
“There are twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, right? But what do you call that?” Minnie said, her eyes glued to the mirror in front of us.
“Scary as hell,” I answered "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
56
" Finn swore and swung on me, his eyes darting between me and the road. “You don’t have a filter, do you? You just say whatever the hell comes into your head!”
“You just told me no games. You just told me to say it like it is. That’s what I’m doing.”
“There’s a big difference between saying it like it is and telling all there is to tell!”
“You’re probably right.” I nodded. “I’ve always been . . . blunt, but something happened to me when I let go on the bridge,” I explained softly. “My give-a-damn broke. I don’t care anymore. I just don’t. I’m not afraid. I’m not feeling suicidal, but I don’t give a rat’s ass. Does that make any sense?”
Finn nodded. “Yeah. It does. I’ve been there myself. But I just fixed my give-a-damn, unfortunately. So you need to have a little respect and show a little restraint. Deal?”
“Okay.” I sighed. “Tell it like it is, but only in doses Clyde can handle. Got it.”
“Thank you,” he said sarcastically.
I resolved to freeze him out and didn’t say another word, staring out the window, composing song lyrics in my head so I wouldn’t go crazy. "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
59
" Clyde swore long and low, making the one syllable word into several. “What in the hell happened in the space of twenty-four hours to make you want to take a plunge into the Mystic River?”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have jumped,” I said after a long silence, not knowing what else to say without spilling my whole life story.
“You did jump. But that wasn’t the question, Bonnie,” Clyde said softly.
“That’s the only answer I’ve got, Clyde.”
“Then you and I are gonna have to part ways.”
“Say that again.”
“You and I are gonna have to part ways,” Clyde repeated firmly, his gaze steely in the murky light.
“I like your accent. You don’t say part. You say pat. Say it again.”
“What the hell?” Clyde sighed, throwing his hands in the air.
“Now that, that didn’t sound very cool,” I said. “You say it just the way I say it. What the hell!” I yelled. “See? Exactly the same.”
“I don’t need this,” Clyde muttered under his breath and ran his big hand down his face. "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
60
" Today is hard because I’m thinking about tomorrow. And I’m thinking about what I’ve lost. But I had days like this even before Minnie died. Days I just checked out. Gran says it’s just the blues. Everybody gets the blues. Maybe that’s all they are. But they feel more like grays than blues, and more black than gray sometimes. It’s always worse after I’ve been working too hard, singing night after night, pouring myself out all over the stage so people can lap me up. I love it, the singing, the performing, the people, the music, but sometimes I forget to save something . . . the something that is essentially me, and my light goes out. Sometimes it takes a while to get it burning again... But you have a key, Finn, and I give you permission to come on in,” I said. “Even if it’s dark, and you don’t know what you’ll find, you come on in, okay?” I felt an ache in my throat that grew as I spoke. “I want you in here with me, even if it isn’t pretty, even if I don’t invite you. "
― Amy Harmon , Infinity + One
