Home > Work > Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog QUOTES

Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog QUOTES

1 " Our production manager, Rebecca, sews outfits for her cat Jack. I'm not sure why. I guess she was just sitting around one day and thought, "Fuck this shit, I'm forty and single, time Jack had a Peter Pan costume. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

2 " Did Mrs Gillespie get stung by a bee?” I asked. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

3 " He’d thrown the screwdriver after discovering I’d removed all the screws from his office chair but, really, who gets back from lunch to discover a screwdriver and 46 screws on their desk and still sits down? "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

4 " They had jet skis to hire at the beach club and we were clearly told the rules so there’s no excuse for Seb and Holly to ride past full throttle and cross in front just to splash me. If it’s not fun for everyone then it isn’t fun for anyone. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

5 " You’re an idiot. I know you’re joking but do you realise how prejudistic you sound when you say things like that?”

“I’m not being prejudistic, I’m just saying there’s nothing worse than a confident fat woman. Except transgender old people of course. Can I have the remote please?”

“No, I’m watching another Hallmark movie. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

6 " Holly, there's a raccoon on the back deck." "Really? What's it doing?" "Eating tika masala and naan. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

7 " that may be a bit of stretch as I’d obviously prefer to play Trivial Pursuit than spend the night in a spider cave or give a hobo a rimjob, but you get the point. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

8 " Yes, it is. I once asked Holly once how long it would be before she’d start dating again if I died and she said, ‘not for at least three months’. Says a lot really. She’ll probably be downloading Tinder at my funeral.” “I "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

9 " They played a Dave Matthews track, I have no idea which one as they all sound the same. It’s the kind of guitar based elevator music that people with beards and beanies listen to while drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and vaping in their friend Steve’s bedroom. They nod along as they flick through mountain biking magazines and discuss CamelBak® water bottles and spoke tightening tools. Thankfully the song was killed halfway through and with a few words, a clank and whirring noises, Simon’s coffin lowered into the platform and was gone. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

10 " I once asked Holly how long it would be before she’d start dating again if I died and she said, ‘not for at least three months’. Says a lot really. She’ll probably be downloading Tinder at my funeral. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

11 " I love Star Wars as much as the next person, don’t get me wrong, I just have better things to do than learn to speak Wookiee. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog

12 " Seguro que hay un montón de gatos por aquí, debemos pedir algunos nuggets de pollo para ellos. "

― David Thorne , Wrap It In A Bit Of Cheese Like You're Tricking The Dog