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101 " She didn’t die for lack of trying; she died because cancer is a serial killer. "
― Camille Pagán , Life and Other Near-Death Experiences
102 " then it would probably be no worse than, and possibly preferable to, death by overzealous cell colonization. "
103 " You have subcutaneous panniculitis-like T-cell lymphoma. This type of cancer is extremely rare, but when it does come up, we see it most often in individuals in their thirties, such as yourself. I’m afraid it tends to be aggressive "
104 " Because however gratifying it was to unleash all that anger bottled inside me, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe—just maybe—I was killing off a little bit of what was good in me in the process. "
105 " Pain is funny, isn’t it, the way it’s impossible to accurately recall once it’s gone? "
106 " It’s permanence that distinguishes grief from other emotional pain. The unfixable nature of never—that’s what makes it so terrible to bear. Was "
107 " I know I can be strong,” I said, more quietly this time. “It’s just that I don’t want to. "
108 " There is no surviving. There is only coming to terms with not surviving. "
109 " Tom’s battle to forgive himself—to learn to love himself again, if he ever had at all—was going to be far more difficult than any struggle I would endure as a result of our separation. I had my own issues to work through. But as far as our relationship was concerned, I was already rolling downhill, while Tom was at the bottom, trying to figure out how to begin his climb. "
110 " the now could not be forgotten as it was happening "
111 " I would attend more than one funeral, after all. It just so happened that the second would be my own. "
112 " And I thought, Thank you, Tom. Thank you for your awful, terrible, heartbreaking timing. Because without it, I would have never ended up in Vieques, where I would finally—dear God, finally—get properly laid before it was too late. "
113 " was hoping for air-conditioning, but the man rolled down the windows and I spent the next few minutes pretending to be entranced by palm trees while wondering if I was sweating hard enough to make it look like I wet my pants. "
114 " It's permeance that distinguishes grief from other emotional pain. The unfixable nature of never - that's what makes it so terrible to bear.. "