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1 " Be merciful until you can't be.Until you feel your heart begin to harden into a bullet.Then use that bullet. "
― Clementine von Radics , Mouthful of Forevers
2 " There will always be thosewho say you are too young and delicateto make anything happen for yourself.They don't see the part of you that smolders.Don't let their doubting drown outthe sound of your own heartbeat.You are the first drop of rain in a hurricane.Your bravery builds beyond you.You are needed by all the little girlsstill living in secret, writing oceansmade of monsters, andthrowing like lightning.You don't need to grow upto find greatness.You are so much stronger than the worldhas ever believed you could be.The world is waiting for youto set it on fire. Trust in yourselfand burn. "
3 " The good news is you survived. The bad news is you're hurt and no one can heal you but yourself. "
4 " I don't know whyI've got so much hopepinned to someone who will never call me home. "
5 " I’m not sure what to say about struggle except that it feels like a long, dark tunnel with no light at the end. You never notice until it’s over the ways it has changed you, and there is no going back. We struggled a lot this year. For everyone who picked a fight with life and got the shit kicked out of them: I’m proud of you for surviving. This year I learned that cities are beautiful from rooftops even when you’re sad and that swimming in rivers while the sun sets in July will make you feel hopeful, no matter what’s going on at home. I found out my best friend is strong enough to swing me over his shoulder like I’m weightless and run down the street while I’m squealing and kicking against his chest. I found out vegan rice milk whipped cream is delicious, especially when it’s licked off the stomach of a boy you love. This year I kissed too many people with broken hearts and hands like mousetraps. If I could go back and unhurt them I would. If I could go back even farther and never meet them I would do that too. I turned 21. There’s no getting around it. I’m an adult now. Navigating the world has proved harder than I expected. There were times I was reckless. In my struggle to survive I hurt others. Apologies do not make good bandages. I’m not sure what to say about change except that it reminds me of the Bible story with the lions’ den. But you are not named Daniel and you have not been praying, so God lets the beasts get a few deep, painful swipes at you before the morning comes and you’re pulled into the light, exhausted and cut to shit. The good news is you survived. The bad news is you’re hurt and no one can heal you but yourself. You just have to find a stiff drink and a clean needle before you bleed out. And then you get up. And start over. "
6 " You told me mornings were the best time to break your own heart. So here I am, smoking your brand of cigarettes for the scent. I wonder if you still sing Beatles songs as you make coffee. You said your mother used to sing them to you when you couldn’t sleep, nineteen years before we met, twenty before you moved your clothes out of our closet while I was at work. By the way, I hate you for leaving all the photographs on the fridge. Taking them down felt like peeling off new scabs, like slapping a sunburn. I spent so many nights carving your body into pillows, I can promise you nothing feels like sleeping with your arm around me and your breath in my ear. Still, it’s comforting to know we sleep under the same moon, even if she’s so much older when she gets to me. I like to imagine she’s seen you sleeping and wants me to know you’re doing well. "
7 " I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. "
8 " I think I like my brain bestin a bar fight with my heart.I think I like myself a little broken,with rough edges, a little harderto grasp. I like poetrybetter than therapy anyway.The poems never judge mefor healing wrong. "
9 " I said, I love youwhen I meant something muchmore specific, I should have said,Please don't leave me,I'm afraid to sleep alone. "
10 " There Is A Lion In My Living RoomI feed it raw meatso it does not hurt me.It is a strange thingto nourish what could kill youin the hopes it does not kill you. "
11 " What doesn’t kill you leaves disfiguring scarsWhat doesn’t kill you fills you with paralyzing self-hatredWhat doesn’t kill you makes you an unfit mother What doesn’t kill you makes it all so hardWhat doesn’t kill you wakes you up in the middle of the nightWhat doesn’t kill you turns you into an alcoholicWhat doesn’t kill you makes you do unforgivable things to the people you loveWhat doesn’t kill you makes you afraid for the rest of your lifeWhat doesn’t kill you might make you kill them "
12 " You never need to apologizefor how you chose to survive.-You Have Six Tattoos "
13 " Getting everything you ever wanted does not make you want less "
14 " He used to love me, and now he’s just a stranger who happens to know all my secrets. "
15 " Mouthful of Forevers I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar on your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: Whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap, your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane. "
16 " I am terrifiedI will break his heartjust because I feel restless;because it is between me and what I hunger for "
17 " Here’s the truth: It is hard to be in love with someone who is in love with someone else. "
18 " When the poems don’t come, don’t open the vodka. "
19 " What no one ever talks about is how dangerous hope can be. "
20 " Drowning people often believe that if they grab hold of someone else they can be saved, but that just makes you both sink faster. "