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Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4) QUOTES

Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4) QUOTES

1 " If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

2 " Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

3 " Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

4 " History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

5 " Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

6 " There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time! "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

7 " To each our own Hamlet. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

8 " I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

9 " For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

10 " If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

11 " Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

12 " To espresso or to latte, that is the question...whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain...or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache... "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

13 " If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

14 " [from the television show,"Evade the Question Time"]

At the end of the first round, I will award three points to Mr. Kaine for an excellent nonspecific condemnation, plus one bonus point for blaming the previous government and another for successfully mutating the question to promote the party line. Mr. van de Poste gets a point for a firm rebuttal, but only two points for his condemnation, as he tried to inject an impartial and intelligent observation. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

15 " I am by turns a petulant adolescent and a mature man, a melancholy loner and a wit telling actors their trade. I cannot decide whether I'm a philosopher or a moping teenager, a poet or a murderer, a procrastinator or a man of action. I might be truly mad or sane pretending to be mad or even mad pretending to be sane. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

16 " If you even *need* a government, added Stig, "you are a life-form flawed beyond redemption. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

17 " You killed my pappy," said the youth, "and my pappy's pappy. And his pappy's pappy. And my brothers Jethro, Hank, Hoss, Red, Peregrine, Marsh, Junior, Dizzy, Luke, Peregrine, George and all the others. I'm callin' you out, lawman. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

18 " Hamlet would worry about having nothing to worry about if he had nothing to worry about, "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

19 " If this were a novel, you'd have to start a new chapter as soon as I appeared. "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)

20 " I have a mother,"replied Hamlet gloomily as he bowed politely and kissed my mother's hand."She shares my uncle's bed."
"They should buy another one, in that case," she replied, practical as ever. "They do a very good deal at IKEA, I'm told. ... "

― Jasper Fforde , Something Rotten (Thursday Next, #4)